The Sparking of Insight
by doxiemama
Summary: A lightning storm brings together two soulmates who are fighting against fate. This is the story of how Ranger and Stephanie learn to deal with finding out they truly are two halves of a whole. This is a little AU, a little more serious, and definitely not a Cupcake story.
1. Chapter 1

_This story is going to be on the more serious side and a bit AU. Janet E. owns all of the characters you recognize – I am only borrowing them and the story line is mine alone. However, if she ever wanted to give them up…..but I digress. I want to send a very big thank you out to Susan for proofing this and agreeing to stick with me while I attempt to write my first full length story. I won't be able to post more than weekly. Any mistakes will belong completely to me. Thank you for reading!_

 _AN: Italics represent thoughts of characters._

Chapter 1

Stephanie's POV

The flash of lightning in the distance combined with the increasing gusts of wind signaled that the weather forecaster actually got it right for once. The wind brought forth the distinctive smell of rain as it made Stephanie's brown curls dance across her face and tickle her nose.

 _Of all the times to be on surveillance without the benefit of being in a car_ she thought. She sighed deeply, closing her eyes for a moment as she leaned her head back against the tree in which she was perched. The autumn leaves rustled busily in the wind, covering her soft sounds. She had painstakingly climbed up about twenty feet into the canopy of the old oak tree right after dusk, navigating the low branches with ease. _How do I get myself into these situations,_ she pondered, then paused and sighed again as she realized that her answer was tied to invisible strings that directly led to her heart, and were currently tugging on it without any mercy.

She took a moment to review the events that led to her sitting in a very big, very tall oak tree that appeared to be in the direct path of a very big, very nasty thunder storm. Things had slowed down considerably in the bonds office over the last couple of months. This meant that income for her also slowed down considerably. In fact, as of the beginning of the week, Stephanie had once again started evaluating what nonessential items in her apartment could be sold so that she would have enough money to meet her rent for the month. _Talk about déjà vu_. She and Joe Morelli were trying unsuccessfully to be in another 'on' phase of a relationship, but after their last very public argument she just didn't feel comfortable asking to move in with him again. Her gut instinct, also known as her spidey sense, told her that wouldn't be an option since she didn't see them making up after that. _Not going to dwell on that right now…..it's not like I have many options at the moment._ Again, this triggered another deep sigh from her.

Yesterday, she received an out-of-the-blue phone call from Ranger, asking for her help with this stake out. She hadn't heard from him in about four weeks and was missing him. He dangled a paycheck of ten grand for her help, so how could she turn it down? _Get real, Stephanie. It's not the paycheck, it's the man you would do anything for._ Ranger had assured her that he would be near, monitoring a two story building from the ground level while she would be perched in a tree, monitoring the second story via a wall of windows. She was told there was rumored to be a covert meeting between two subjects of interest that Ranger's company Rangeman held the apprehension papers for. Steph jumped at the opportunity, which led her to where she was right now.

 _Focus Steph._ Daylight had faded to darkness, with the dark clouds that were moving closer and closer casting a glow from the reflected lights of Trenton. She pulled down her night vision goggles that where perched on her head and looked around through them. _No movement…wait. No…just a stray dog. Jeez, get it together._ At this point a huge flash of lightning snaked its way across sky, lighting up the night. Steph, temporarily blinded by bright flash of lightning while wearing the night vision goggles, startled and lost her balance. Before she could even scream for help, she found herself dangling upside down from one of the tree branches. Taking a quick survey of the situation, she realized she was held in place by a branch that had speared through the lower thigh of her black cargo pants and now had her dangling like a brunette piñata about fifteen feet above a privacy fence that surrounded the building under watch. _And of course it would just have to be the fencing that had the freakin' pointy topped spikes….doesn't this just suck…well at least it hasn't started raining._

At the exact moment those thoughts skated through Stephanie's mind, the wind picked up even more and the storm clouds began dumping heavy rain down. _Well fuck my life. Let's see, death by drowning or by impalement. Or maybe a broken neck…or hey! How about choose all that apply._ She couldn't help it, she snorted and started to chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Maybe it was the blood that was pooling in her head, but as Stephanie swayed in the wind while being pelted with the pouring rain, she couldn't keep her mind from drifting to the one person that she needed at the moment _. Ranger. Ricardo Carlos Manoso._ Even in the precarious position she was in, his mental picture brought forth a cascade of emotions that she tried to keep locked away. Ranger was her best friend and had been her lover on a few occasions. The problem was that Stephanie was an all or nothing kind of woman and Ranger….well…..his words indicated he was not interested in being that kind of man _._ Ranger kept any thoughts and feelings locked down tight, showing the world and Stephanie his blank face. _Oh how I wish I could read his mind like he can read mine._ Even though Ranger's words told her he was not interested in more than sharing her bed, his actions contraindicated this on so many occasions. However, just when Steph was convinced there was more going on between them, Ranger would disappear from her life for weeks and even months, then just reappear again. _And that is why I am so damned confused all the time. I hate that he keeps me in such a state. I hate that I have all of these….feelings….. for him instead of Joe, but he doesn't have them for me. And I REALLY hate that I am stuck in a stupid tree hanging upside down in the stupid rain and this is what I am thinking about._

Just then her pants ripped a little, causing her to drop down a couple of inches. "GAAAHHH _!" Shit. I hope I didn't give our position away._ "Ranger! Pssssst! Ranger! A moment please….now!" she loud-whispered into her communication unit.

About 30 seconds later, a huge black shape emerged from behind one of the outbuildings to her immediate right. It took feeling the sensation of tingles racing up her neck for Steph to recognize that the tall muscular frame dressed all in black striding quietly toward her position was the one man that she could always count on to save the day in spite of whatever mess she found herself in. As Ranger made his way over to the huge oak, he slowly raised his head until he made eye contact with a very upside down Stephanie.

"Babe. I think we might need to call it a night from where I'm standing." He put his hands on his hips and slowly assessed the situation that Stephanie was in, then shook his head.

Stephanie rolled her eyes and just managed not to put her hands on her hips. _Look at him. He shook his head at me….way to go Plum, disappointing him again._ "You think? After all, I am getting a little tired of just hanging and chilling here…." she huffed out defensively, wiping the rain away from her mouth and nose. This time she couldn't help it and crossed both arms over her chest as she dangled upside down, giving him her best death ray glare in spite of still wearing her night vision goggles.

Ranger tipped one side of his mouth up as he took her in. "Tone down the glare, Killer. I'll get you down." He reached into the side pocket on his cargo pants and pulled out his phone, texting for assistance. "Tank and Lester will be here in about 5 minutes. I don't want to try to move you by myself and have you fall."

 _How does he freaking do that!? It is SO not fair he can read my mind, yet he is a blank page to me._ Realizing what Ranger just said, the mortification of having two of her friends see her in yet another ridiculous predicament set in. "I really don't need to be the butt of any more jokes right now. Is there any way you can at least pull me upright until they get here? This branch is really digging into my leg."

Ranger thought about it for a minute while looking at a very soaked to the bone Stephanie. "Okay. Let me see if I can get up there on the branch above you and then get you at least upright." The rain continued to beat down in sheets while the wind blustered around them. Lightning continued to lace the sky, followed by loud claps of thunder. He started up the old oak tree toward her, gingerly testing how well the rain slicked branches supported his weight before slowly moving up to the next one, making his way towards Stephanie.

 _-TBC-_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Character's thoughts are in italics. Again, characters you recognize belong to Janet, the plot is mine. I will be alternating between character POV's for the first few chapters, so I believe Ranger has a few things to share now. Again, thanks to Susan for proofing this. Lastly, thank you each and every person that took the time to read, review, and/or follow this. Because of all of your encouragement, I decided to post this second chapter much earlier than I originally intended._

Chapter 2

 _Ranger's POV_

Ranger Manoso had just gotten Stephanie situated in the big oak tree that was across from a row of floor-to-ceiling windows on the second floor of the building he strongly hoped would remain vacant all night long. He made his way over to a large shed about fifty yards from where his Babe was perched in a tree and went behind it. He could see her, but she couldn't see him from this angle. He positioned himself in the doorway alcove, hidden by the deepening shadows. Only the occasional flash of lightning in the distance gave any indication he was there. He had texted Tank and Lester earlier, telling them to slide into the empty building in about thirty minutes and turn random lights on and off _. If she only knew,_ he thought.

He had been informed last week by Connie at the bonds office that work was slow. He had found himself caught once again in Stephanie's gravitational pull, getting too close to her for his emotional comfort and what he believed was for her safety. Even though he had taken great pains to put some space between Stephanie and himself, this caused enough concern to pull him back to her, and to dig a little into her financial situation. Once he realized how much she needed income, Ranger had racked his brain to come up with a way to take care of her without her realizing it.

He was going through some invoices earlier in the week when he came across the perfect way. His security company, Rangeman, had recently acquired a vacant warehouse that would ultimately be used for storage. It was on the edge of Trenton and fairly isolated, making it a perfect location should anyone want to hold a discreet meeting there. With a few clicks of his computer, he had created apprehension papers on made up individuals. After some internal debate, he pulled Tank and Santos to the side and explained the situation to them. Without any hesitation, both were on board to do whatever was needed to help their friend, recognizing the true motivation behind Ranger's actions.

And that was how he found himself leaning against the recessed door, watching the curly haired brunette perched in the big oak tree at the edge of the warehouse's property. He watched as the wind tossed her curls across her face and felt that strange clenching sensation in his chest that happened whenever he saw her. It was almost as intense as the tingling sensation he felt whenever she was near him. _It's not like she has feelings for me. It's always been about the cop,_ he thought morosely. _Get a grip Manoso…it doesn't matter what you feel for her, it just can't happen._ Stephanie was the sunshine and blue skies to his dark and stormy past; the breath of fresh air that kept him breathing. All of the horrific things he had done, he had to live through were absolved with her smile. She was….vital….to him. He would do anything for her to protect her, make her happy, make her flourish. _And I would suck that light out of her if I claimed her,_ he thought ruefully.

His thoughts were interrupted by a bright flash of lightning in the midst of the thunderstorm, followed by Steph's cry of distress. He was already on his way to her, ready to jump into action when her voice came over his ear piece with "Ranger! Pssssst! Ranger! A moment please….now!" It was all he could do to school his facial expression, clamping down his jaw to keep from grinning at the scene that literally hung before him. "Babe. I think we might need to call it a night from where I'm standing." He put both hands on his hips, and slowly looked up into the tree through the rain to see Stephanie dangling upside down with a large branch stuck into her cargos, night vision goggles in place, dripping wet. _Only you, babe..._ He started to frown when he noticed the dark stain that was starting to appear on her already soaked cargos around where the branch was.

He was already assessing the situation when she huffed back in true Burg girl style "You think? After all, I am getting a little tired of just hanging and chilling here…." Ranger couldn't help but give a partial grin as her sarcastic way of dealing with the situation caused yet another surge of uncomfortable emotions to swell up inside him and shook his head to clear his mind. _And that is why I am so damned confused all the time. I hate that she keeps me all tied up inside, forcing me to push her away, even after she went back to Morelli. I hate that she makes me feel all of these….feelings…..that I can't afford to deal with right now. And I REALLY hate that all I want to do is grab her, take her home and claim her as mine…but it's not going to happen. It just can't happen._

He looked at her, noting her attack stance even while dangling upside down with a piece of tree branch digging into her leg. "Tone down the glare, Killer. I'll get you down." He reached into his side pocket on his cargo pants and pulled out his phone, texting for assistance. "Tank and Lester will be here in about 5 minutes. I don't want to try to move you by myself and have you fall."

Even though he couldn't see her face clearly, it was plainly evident that thought caused her some distress as her panicky voice called out "I really don't need to be the butt of any more jokes right now. Is there any way you can at least pull me upright until they get here? This branch is really digging into my leg."

Ranger looked at Stephanie, then the fence. He took in the way the wind was picking up and starting to toss her to and fro like a pendulum in the down pour. "Okay. Let me see if I can get up there on the branch above you and then get you at least upright." The rain continued to beat down in sheets while the wind blustered around them. Lightning continued to lace the sky, followed by loud claps of thunder. He started up the old oak tree toward her, gingerly testing how well the rain slicked branches supported his weight before slowly moving up to the next one, making his way towards Stephanie.

 _-TBC-_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Character's thoughts are in italics. Again, characters you recognize belong to Janet, the plot is mine. Again, thanks to Susan for proofing this. Lastly, thank you each and every person that took the time to read, review, and/or follow this. I accidentally posted the wrong chapter here initially but quickly fixed it - thank you Lynn021 for pointing that out to me._

Chapter 3

Ranger continued to climb towards Stephanie, carefully placing one foot on a branch and testing if it would support his weight before shifting completely onto it. The rain continued to pelt both of them and the wind continued to bluster around them. He gingerly maneuvered himself onto a branch right above the one that was digging into Stephanie's leg and straddled it. Wiping the rain out of his eyes, he leaned forward slightly to figure out the best way to pull her up. "Can you reach up to me? I think if I hang on to the tree trunk I can get your hand."

Steph looked up at Ranger's outstretched hands. "Okay, but hold on to something, Ranger. I don't want to make you fall." She attempted to curl herself up with outstretched arms, using a sit-up motion, but missed Ranger's hands by a couple of inches. "GAH!" Steph swung to and fro from the movement. "Of all the times to regret not doing those crunches at the gym!" She huffed and then looked up at the smiling man sitting above her, then sighed. _God, even soaking wet with dripping hair, he was beautiful, inside and out._ "Okay, okay, let's try this again. I want to go home before next week and I want a donut." With that said, she gave a little swing to get some force in her movements and reached for all she was worth.

Ranger's big strong hand grasped Steph's small one with a solid firm hold. He carefully pulled her toward him. _Thank God and all the Saints in heaven. I've got her and its going to be okay_ , he thought with relief.

That thought was short-lived. Continuing to pull Stephanie up to him, Ranger was momentarily distracted by the slamming of a car door somewhere in the warehouse parking lot. He lost the smooth momentum he was using to pull Steph upright, jerking her up harder than he had intended. This caused the branch that was stuck in Steph's cargoes to spear through her outer thigh, causing her to scream out in pain. Stephanie's sudden scream startled Ranger, causing him to grab onto both of her arms and yank her up to him, snapping off the impaled branch from the tree trunk. They were being bounced around by the rain and wind of the thunderstorm but the moment she was in his arms and cradled against his chest, he breathed in again. He could hear Tank and Lester by the outbuilding and called them over. Steph continued to whimper in pain with her face buried in Ranger's shoulder as he tried to adjust her weight over to one arm so that he could start the trek down the tree.

Putting one foot on the branch below him, he felt the hair on the back of his neck begin to stand up. He carefully lowered all his weight on it while scoping out the surroundings for whatever had his hyperawareness on alert. Unexpectedly, a blinding ball of electricity surrounded them and a white hot sizzle hit both Ranger and Stephanie in the chest area where they were pressed together. He kept his arms tight around his babe as the branch that supported them snapped off from the lightning strike and sent them free falling to the ground. _This is gonna fucking hurt_ was his last conscious thought.

Tank and Lester watched in horror as their boss and the woman he loved fell to the ground in a crumbled heap. Lester was already calling 911 while Tank ran over to the unconscious couple to assess the situation. "Shit, this don't look good Santos! Get the ambulance here 10 minutes ago!"

The scene in front of him was a grim one. Laying in the midst of chunks of charred and smoking tree branch was Ranger, with Stephanie still locked tightly in his arms. He could make out multiple scrapes and abrasions on both of their faces and arms, but what had him concerned was the piece of a tree branch that had impaled both Stephanie and Ranger's upper leg, effectively skewering them together. There was a lot of what looked like blood pooling under them, and Tank couldn't tell who it was coming from. Both Ranger and Steph's clothing were shredded; Tank took note that both were missing their shoes. Without moving them, he could make out a blistered burn pattern on both Ranger's and Steph's fronts, disappearing where their chests touched. He kneeled down by them and carefully checked to make sure both still had pulses and both were still breathing. Finding both, he yelled back over his shoulder "Santos, tell them to be prepared for trauma and lightning strike – looks like both were hit! Both got a pulse and are breathing, but they're both weak and someone's losing a shit-ton of blood! Get them here now!"

Even though it felt like 4 hours, the ambulance and emergency responders made it to the scene in 4 minutes. Effectively cutting the branch in two that impaled both Ranger and Steph, the EMS team separated them so that they could work on the unconscious couple more effectively. Both were stabilized, then loaded into the ambulances that were waiting to take them to St. Francis Hospital.

 _-tbc-_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: The same rules apply – they aren't mine if you recognize them but the plot and any mistakes belong to me. Character thoughts are represented in italics. Thanks to Susan for editing this for me!_

Chapter 4

 _Stephanie's POV_

She was surrounded by swirling flashes of light and sound, followed by an intense jolt she swore went to her very soul. She felt torn apart and pushed back together an instant later. Even blinded by the intense light, she could see things in Technicolor. She tried to turn toward the rapid-firing flashes and snatches of sound, but it made her so dizzy she had to block them out.

She couldn't make out the words but without a doubt she recognized that she knew them, knew their familiarity. She could _feel_ the words bobbing and weaving around her and through her. She knew them as if they were her own, recognizing them at a cellular level.

… _"my love_ "…..

… _.."mine"_ …

… _.."my light"_ …

…." _anything for you"_ ….

…" _It just can't happen_ "…

Overwhelmed by the cacophony of motion and sound, she did the only thing she knew to do to cope with it – she willed herself to sleep. As she drifted off into the quiet still blackness, she felt an unfamiliar knot of anxiety that was accompanied by Ranger's loud voice saying " _This is going to fucking hurt."_

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The fog thinned enough that Stephanie could hear the wailing of sirens. She became aware of hurting all over. As she tried to focus on this, she realized that her thigh was a source of intense pain. She felt a burning, tingly sensation over her chest. She tried desperately to see what was causing it, but couldn't will her eyes to open. She tried in vain to move her hands to what hurt, but they wouldn't cooperate either. She gradually became aware of a rhythmic thumping. She smiled in her mind as she recognized this familiar sound. _Ranger's heartbeat…..always makes me feel better….. gonna be alright_. She focused on the strong and steady beat and felt herself relax again and drift off toward the sound she so craved. _Oh, Batman. I need you to be okay…_

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While the emergency room staff rushed around frantically working on Ranger and Stephanie to stabilize them, Tank and Lester arrived to the department's front desk. Tank paused just inside the waiting room and turned to Lester. "Les, you need to call Bobby and clue him in on what's going on, man. Get ahold of Steph's parents too. I'm gonna go and start the paperwork, then see if we have any news." Lester gave a nod of understanding and went back outside to make his phone calls.

Tank went to the admitting desk and leaned down towards the front desk attendant. "I need to speak with the charge nurse on duty."

A woman in her late thirties came over to talk to Tank. "I'm the charge nurse on duty, sir. How can I help you?"

Tank pulled her to the side to speak privately. He pulled out two documents, and with the most serious 'don't mess with me' look he could make, said "I'm the acting CEO of Rangeman Security, and two employees were brought into your facility by ambulance. I have paperwork that needs to be filed on both and specific security measures that need to be implemented as soon as possible."

The charge nurse raised both eyebrows at Tank while staring at him for a few seconds, then lowered her eyes to the offered documents. She took them from him and read over them.

Tank offered to her "These are legal documents that appoints the acting CEO or designated representative of the company to make any medical decisions for any employee of Rangeman should they be unable to make those decisions themselves."

The nurse nodded after verifying that the documents were legal. "I'll make sure these are placed on their charts." She paused for a second. "Is there anyone besides you that is allowed to have access to either Ms. Plum's or Mr. Manoso's medical information?"

Tank didn't miss a beat with his reply. "Our company medic, Robert Brown and another partner, Lester Santos. Any other inquiries by anyone else needs to be deferred to one of us three. Also, due to the nature of the work our company is involved with, we feel that the risk for potential retribution while both of our employees are in such a vulnerable state requires that they have a guard detail where ever they are located while in your hospital. This includes where you have them now, so expect a couple of guards to be in place outside your triage rooms. This is nonnegotiable. Please let your staff be aware of this."

The charge nurse recognized the seriousness Tank tried to convey to her. "I will pass on the word. As soon as I know anything, I'll make sure you are updated." They shook hands, then Tank went back out to the waiting area and began counting down the moments before shit hit the fan.

While Tank was inside, Lester notified Bobby of what happened. His next phone call was the call he dreaded more than anything. He punched in the numbers and drew in a deep breath.

"Morelli here. Is this Marie? I wondered if you'd call me after last night."

Lester shook his head in disgust. _Stupid dick._ "Morelli, Lester Santos. There's been an accident."

Morelli's voice was silent for a few beats. "And?"

"Stephanie is in the ER at St. Francis and I need you to go get her parents. She was hit by lightning. It looks pretty serious, man."

"Shit, Santos. How the _fuck_ did she manage that?! She's gonna kill me is what she's gonna do! This is just what I needed."

"Can it, you ass hat! It's not about you. Just get her parents here and look for Tank." Lester clicked his phone off, then went back inside to look for Tank.

Tank was sitting with his head in his hands, elbows propped on his knees, so Lester opted to pace the waiting room. About ten minutes had passed when one of the ER physicians came out and asked for the family of Ms. Plum. Both men came forward and introduced themselves, eager to hear any updates about Stephanie's condition.

The doctor motioned for them to all sit down, and pulled out Stephanie's chart. "Stephanie has suffered some very serious injuries." The doctor paused and cleared his throat. "The fall from the tree by itself caused a serious concussion and several deep abrasions. To make matters worse, she was impaled by a piece of tree branch in her right outer thigh. The branch was about an inch in diameter at its widest point; there is significant muscle damage there and will require surgery once she's stable. Luckily, no nerves or major vessels were damaged by that. We are also concerned that Ms. Plum and Mr. Manoso's leg wounds may have bled significantly into each other, so we are watching for any signs that she may experience what's called an acute hemolytic reaction—meaning Mr. Manoso's blood may start trying to break down Ms. Plum's. We are not seeing anything that indicates it has started to happen, but we will continue to monitor for this."

Both Tank and Les both nodded and appeared to relax a little.

The doctor held his hand up. "I'm not done, gentlemen. To compound this situation, it looks like Stephanie was the victim of a lightning strike. The good news is that it doesn't appear to have struck her directly; we believe it hit the tree first which deflected it to her. This reduced the amount of voltage that passed through her body. However, it was enough that we are very concerned about her heart and her brain. The fact that she came in breathing on her own is promising – many lightning strike victims go into full arrest. We are seeing some alterations in her heart rhythm that need to be evaluated. Of most concern is that Stephanie has not shown signs yet of regaining consciousness. We are concerned that the electrical voltage may have caused some brain cell death. When you add in the concussion from the fall…." the doctor's voice trailed off as he made direct eye contact with both Tank and Lester to convey just how serious Stephanie's condition was.

Tank spoke first. "She may or may not wake up. We're talking about possible brain damage from this." Tank scrubbed his face with his hands. "Shit."

The doctor nodded. "Agreed. We have her stabilized for the time being and are still running tests to see exactly what the extent of her injuries are. Only time will tell us what the long term effects will be."

Lester stood up and put his hands on his hips. "Any word on Manoso?"

The doctor's pager went off. He checked it, stood and turned to Les. "I've not been in his triage room, but I will stop in and see if I can get someone out to talk to you about him. I'm sorry to run, but I'm being paged. Gentlemen." He nodded at both, then went back through the door.

This time, Lester sat down with his head in his hands, while Tank paced the waiting room, waiting to hear about Ranger.

 _-tbc-_

A/N: Thanks for hanging in there with me as I write this! Although I have googled most of the information about lightning strikes and victims of lightning strikes, I am taking some creative licensure with this story's content. Next up, we will see what's going on with our man of mystery.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Character thoughts are in italics. All recognizable characters belong to Janet E.; I am just borrowing them for an adventure or two. Thanks to Susan for fixing my boo-boo's! Also, I am leaving on vacation, so there will be a slightly longer time period between this post and my next one, but hopefully absence makes the heart grow fonder._

Chapter 5

Ranger's POV

He became aware of sparkling flickers of bright light dancing all around him. Intense heat engulfed him, followed by the feeling of every fiber in his body being pulled apart, then snapping back in place. There were sounds bouncing all around him, but he couldn't make out where it came from. He forced his mind to still against the onslaught of stimuli, going blank. Words and phrases began to unfold, then gently wrapped around and wove through him like silk threads, infusing themselves into every inch of him. The feathery softness of the words relaxed him as their intent enveloped his hyperaware senses. Snatches of thoughts that seemed so familiar pervaded every inch of him as he drifted.

… _..just not good enough…._

….. _best friend_ ….

… _..love him more than he knows…_.

… _..need him…so much….._

… _. doesn't want me…._

As he felt himself floating towards a tunnel composed of swirling bright light, he swore he heard Stephanie's heart beating and her soft whimpers of discomfort. He frowned, turned his focus towards his Babe, and willed himself to drift back towards her. The rhythmic beating anchored him, lulling him to the deep sleep of unconsciousness.

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The jostling of the gurney that Ranger was on brought him closer to awareness; he felt like he was looking up from the bottom of a deep pool of water toward its opaque surface. He could hear the loud voices of whomever was pushing him calling for assistance. Feeling as though he was wrapped in a lead blanket, he was unable to move against it. He gradually became aware of an intense, throbbing pain in his left upper leg and shoulder; if he could grimace he would have. He tried to turn his head to take in his surroundings, but it wouldn't move despite his best efforts. His chest was on fire with millions of pins and needles snaking across it, yet all he could do was lay there and breathe. He assumed he was in some emergency room based on the flurry of faceless people poking, prodding, and moving him. The strain from trying to move any part on his body began to wear at him. As he felt himself give in to the ever-present lull of the heartbeat he knew was his Babe's, Ranger _felt_ her presence envelope him while her voice said loudly " _Oh, Batman. I need you to be okay"._ His last thought before he slipped back into unconsciousness was _anything for you, Babe_.

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 _Two hundred and twenty. Two hundred and twenty-one. Two hundred and - Lester's_ attention shifted from counting each time Tank turned to pace a different direction in the waiting room, to that of an approaching physician. He stood up and poked Tank's back to let him know someone was coming.

An older physician with slightly graying hair nodded at them and gave a half smile. "I was told you are Mr. Manoso's next of kin as well as Ms. Plums?"

Tank stepped forward. "That's correct. We're still waiting for updates regarding Ranger, er, Mr. Manoso."

The physician nodded and motioned for them all to sit down. He put Ranger's chart on his lap, opened it and looked over a couple of pages before lifting his head up to look at Tank and Lester. "I'm aware that the physician that is in charge of Miss Plum's care has already come out and updated you regarding her condition. I can share with you that Mr. Manoso's condition is very similar to Miss Plum's. He also sustained significant injuries from falling from the tree. He has multiple abrasions and we found a deep laceration on his left shoulder that I stitched up. It appears he took the brunt of impact from the fall for both himself and Miss Plum. There was also a piece of tree branch that impaled his left thigh, causing significant damage to the area that will require surgical repair once he is more stable. Mr. Manoso was extremely lucky that the branch missed his femoral vessels and the major nerves in that area. It's my understanding that the same branch that caused the trauma to his left thigh also impaled Miss Plum's right thigh?"

Tank and Lester both nodded in response.

The physician continued. "I believe that Miss Plum's physician explained about our concern of acute hemolytic reaction developing—meaning Miss Plum's blood may start trying to break down Mr. Manoso's. At the time, there is no indication that it is occurring, but we will be monitoring him closely for this." The physician paused and rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced.

Tank and Lester both leaned forward, tensed with anxiety.

After rolling his shoulders, the physician continued on. "Mr. Manoso was also struck by lightning that was deflected from the tree that he was in. It looks like the voltage was focused in his chest region, which is a concern for us right now. If there is a positive here gentlemen, it's that he has never lost the ability to breath, which in my personal opinion is nothing short of a miracle considering all his body just went through. However, the paramedics reported that in the ambulance his heart rate became extremely weak and erratic to the point of almost stopping, but self-corrected before they were able to defibrillate. I am sure by now you two are very aware of the critical nature surrounding what can occur when a body is struck by lightning." Making direct eye contact with Tank first, then Lester, the doctor motioned towards the chart. "We will be monitoring his cardiac status for any further issues, but are very concerned with his neurologic status at the moment. Mr. Manoso is in a deep coma at this time, and quite frankly, we are unsure how long this will last."

Lester stood up, took a couple of steps and turned his back on the physician. Dropping his head while putting his hands at the back of his neck, he blew out a breath of frustration.

Tank looked at Lester, then turned toward the physician. "So, Doc, it seems to me that both Ranger and Steph have almost the same injuries, and pretty much the same prognosis here. What happens now?"

The doctor gave a half smile of understanding. He recognized a close-knit family whether they were related by blood or not, and recognized the emotional turmoil both of these men were dealing with. "What happens now is that once Mr. Manoso and Miss Plum are stable, we will be admitting them to the intensive care unit for further care of the injuries they have sustained. We will be able to closely monitor them for further evolving complications should they arise. Beyond that, I honestly can't say what will happen."

Tank nodded in understanding. "Make sure to let the staff know that I want them both either next to each other or else in the same room for security reasons. We have all the documentation allowing this already on file."

The physician glanced over at the doorway leading back to the triage area, then back at Tank. "I suspected something like that when the four large men in black uniforms positioned themselves outside of the triage rooms where Miss Plum and Mr. Manoso currently are. I know that rooms have been assigned to both, and they will be transferred shortly to their rooms. I am positive there won't be any problems with your request. If there are no other questions, I feel like I should go on back in to see if anything else needs to be done before we start moving them to the ICU." The physician excused himself and left.

Before either Tank or Lester could do anything more, their attention was drawn to a commotion at the front desk of the ER. The Plums had arrived with Morelli in tow. "Better get your hip waders on Santos, it's gonna get deep before this is done and over," Tank muttered at Lester. Lester's mouth set in a grim line remembering the phone conversation with Morelli. He just shook his head and watched _. Karma's gonna be a bitch, Morelli_.

Stephanie's parents and Grandma were gathered around the front desk attendant. Helen Plum's voice rang loudly over the rest of the noises. "My daughter, Stephanie Michelle Plum is here. I was told she was here. I want to see my baby now! I want to know what's wrong!" She turned towards where Morelli was. "Joseph, please! You have to do something here!"

The flustered front desk attendant tried without success to explain about the policies and rules relating to patient information but it fell on deaf ears. Taking pity on her, Tank stepped forward and put his hand on Mr. Plum's shoulder to get his attention.

"Mr. Plum, I'm not sure if you remember me, but I'm a friend of your daughter's. Name's Tank."

Mr. Plum took Tank's offered hand and shook it. "I remember you. Do you have any idea what's going on here?"

Tank did his best not to sigh. "I have information for you all. Why don't we go over to the waiting area so that I can explain?"

Mr. Plum took hold of his wife with one hand and his mother-in-law with the other, leaving Joe to follow behind, much to his aggravation. Joe was inwardly seething that he wasn't allowed access to Steph's status, but that didn't stop him from taking a minute to look down the scrub top of a busty blonde nurse who was bent over the desk writing on a chart.

 _-tbc-_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I was able to get this written before I took off on vacation, so surprise! Character thoughts are in italics. All recognizable characters belong to Janet E.; I'm just taking them on a little adventure. Thank you Susan for proofing this – I'll drink a mojito in your honor! All mistakes are mine. Let's see what's going on in the waiting room now…._

Chapter 6

Joe Morelli was a man on the edge. He didn't know how much more of Stephanie's crap he could handle. She just wouldn't learn to grow up and act like a responsible adult. He stood in the emergency department's waiting room watching Manoso's muscle explain to the Plums the cause and extent of Stephanie's injuries, and to a lesser extent that of Ranger's. As he watched Tank put a hand gently on Grandma Mazur's shoulder in empathy while calmly repeating himself to Mrs. Plum, Joe almost snorted in derision _. Calm and caring my hairy ass_ , he thought. _What a fucking act_.

He figured he had a part to play too. Personally, he couldn't stand the Plums. All of the drama and crazy antics that surrounded Steph's family made it hard for him to look past in order to be with her. His mom and grandma repeatedly told him how he was bringing himself down in everyone's eyes by associating with Steph and her unorthodox choice of a lifestyle. He tried to explain that he felt kind of responsible for her, since he helped tarnish her reputation and standing. He was careful to avoid the details as to how he did; after all he didn't want to tarnish _his_ reputation with his family. He insinuated to his mom that it was more or less a pity relationship. After all, who in their right mind would want her? Hell, there were times when he had enough and was ready to walk away from her. However, he couldn't deny the chemistry that sparked between them; he would never be accused of turning away a willing bed partner.

He frowned a bit, thinking that her willingness had certainly been absent in the past few months. He had tried to push the issue outside of Pino's, thinking a little assertiveness might turn her on _. A man has needs,_ he told her, after pinning her against his car with his body. _It's just not natural to have them denied, Cupcake. You need to think about the boys._ He wasn't expecting her indignant glare, followed by her knee connecting harshly with his boys. He could still hear Steph coldly growl at him " _Maybe the boys need to grow up and figure out it's not always about them, Joe!"_ Just thinking about that made him wince inwardly. He figured after that last blow up, he was owed some spectacular make up sex. He caught himself before he outright smirked, thinking that if he played his cards right and milked the _'poor Joe, victim of another Stephanie Plum outburst'_ role, he might even guilt her into butt stuff this time.

His attention was pulled back to Tank and Santos. He caught the tail end of the conversation that lit a fire of pure outrage inside him. "…..signed an agreement granting the CEO of Rangeman or designee to be their medical proxies. But we will keep you informed of any changes."

While Mrs. Plum nodded and smiled at Santos, Mr. Plum shook Tank's hand, and told him "I want to thank you gentleman for taking such good care of Stephanie. It means more to us than you know that your company is paying for this and will cover her expenses."

Narrowing his eyes at the men and leaning in toward them, Joe glanced in disbelief at Frank Plum. _He fucking thanked them for almost getting her killed then picking up the tab_. _What the hell?_

"Excuse me? I need to speak with the medical proxy for Miss Plum and Mr. Manoso." All eyes turned toward the charge nurse. She paused a moment, debating if she should pull the large men in black off to the side for her update. Sensing her internal debate, Tank cleared his throat and told her "This is Miss Plum's family and, uh, friend. It's ok for them to be here."

The charge nurse looked around. "Right, then ok. I came out to tell you that both Mr. Manoso and Miss Plum are being moved up to their rooms in intensive care. As per your instructions, Mr. Manoso is in room 11 and Miss Plum is next to him in room 12. You should be able to go on up and they will be there by now." Smiling at them, she handed Tank a packet with directions, then returned to her station.

Tank took a minute to process the events of the evening, then raised his eyebrows as he looked at the motley group gathered around him. "Okay folks, looks like we're moving this party." He offered his arm to Edna Mazur as Frank Plum supported his wife by gently guiding her with his hand in the small of her back. They all completely missed the glare coming from Morelli as he trudged behind them.

xxxxxxxx

Tank helped the Plums get situated in the ICU waiting room. "I would like to make a request. Let me go back to make sure both of them are settled and that all security measures are in place. Once that's done, I'll be glad to let you all go spend as much time as they'll allow with Stephanie." While the Plums readily agreed, Joe moved to block Tank from leaving.

"I get that you think you have some kind of right dictating what's going to happen to Ranger, but you're outta your mind if you think for one minute I'm going to stand by and let you do that for Steph. I'm her boyfriend for Chrissakes!" Joe crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Tank.

Tank looked down at Joe _. I wish to God Ranger would've just let me squish his ass like a bug on a windshield. I wouldn't have to be dealing with this shit now,_ he thought with distaste.

Mirroring Joe's stance, Tank crossed his huge arms over his chest, making his biceps bulge against his black t shirt sleeves. "Stephanie was completely aware of what she was signing when she was given the medical proxy document. I would be glad to show it to you, since I think you would be _really_ interested in the special clause she had added of her own accord about a month ago that spelled out explicitly who she would and would not allow to serve as her medical proxy representative." Tank smirked at Morelli. "Want to guess which group you're in?" he said with relish as he watched Morelli's face turn a deep red. Tank stepped around Joe, then looked back at him. "I thought not. Now, I'm going in there and you're gonna sit your ass down over there by Santos and the Plums like a good boy and wait until I come back."

Leaving Morelli standing there red faced with steam threatening to come out of his ears, Tank went back to make sure Ranger and Steph were settled.

xxxxxxxxxxx

After checking in with the nurses assigned to Stephanie and Ranger for any further updates, Tank stopped to make sure Rangeman guards were in place outside of both of their rooms. He nodded at Hal after reviewing the rotation schedule with him, and headed back out to the waiting area.

He sat down next to Mr. Plum. "No new updates. Both are settled in their rooms and their guards are in place. I've told them you all would be back to see Steph."

Tank got special permission to allow both of Steph's parents and her Grandma to go back together. The waiting area became tense with silence as Morelli glowered at Santos and him. After about twenty minutes, Steph's family came out. Morelli stood up started walking toward Steph's room. Pausing, he turned around and challenged, "You might have medical proxy, but you can't keep me from seeing her. She'd hate you for it. Now it's your turn to sit your ass down and wait on me." Not waiting on a reply, he went on back to her room.

In Stephanie's room, Joe stopped at the foot of the bed and took in the beautiful train wreck he decided to tie himself to. The multitude of monitors displayed rhythmic wave patterns amid other machines with blinking lights that controlled various IV drips. Stephanie was a mass of scrapes and contusions.

Joe worked hard to tamp down the ambivalence he felt overwhelming him as he continued to look at Stephanie. _How could she not trust me with making decisions for her?_ He started to reach out to touch her foot, but hesitated. Instead, he ran his hands through his hair and sat down in the chair by her head. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees.

"Dammit Stephanie. You just don't ever learn." He reached to gently move a wayward curl off of her forehead. "Jeez, Cupcake. I seriously don't think I can deal with this any longer. I don't want to have to worry constantly about you getting hurt and that's all you seem to do these days." Joe looked out the window in the door way. "I need stability in my life, not this. I tried, Steph. I really did, but I can't be in a relationship where I'm the only responsible one. It was great while it lasted." He sighed and slouched back in the chair, kicking his legs out.

The door to Steph's room opened. Joe recognized immediately the nurse who was currently checking Stephanie's vital signs. Straightening himself up, he gave her a slow up and down full body scan and then slowly grinned at her. "What a surprise seeing you here, Marie."

Marie recorded Stephanie's vital signs, then made her way around the bed to stand right in front of Joe. "What brings you to my stomping grounds, Detective Morelli?"

Morelli put his hands on both sides of her waist and pulled her in between his legs. He gave her a seductive smile. "I'm tying up some loose ends here. You know, the shutting of one door and all that?"

Marie smiled back. "So if one door shuts, then isn't another supposed to open?"

Joe stood up keeping his hands on Marie's waist. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Yeah, something like that. The question is, are you gonna let me open it up and enter, or do I have to knock?"

Marie shook her head. "This isn't the place for a conversation like this to happen, Joe. I'm on break in 10 minutes, so you can meet me in the lounge then."

Joe snorted. "Come on. It's not like she can hear us. She's out cold. Even if she did, it wouldn't matter. There's nothing here for me anymore." As he followed Marie out of the room, neither saw the single tear slowly slide down Stephanie's cheek.

 _-tbc-_

 _A/N: Oh yes she did stop it there! And yes she is going to make everyone wait until her vacation is over before posting again! And….yes she is so very thankful and appreciative of all you that have read and reviewed and left such encouraging messages. Thanks so much and hang in there with me!_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _A/N: Thank you all for your patience! Character thoughts in italics. All recognizable characters belong to Janet. Everything else is mine._

Stephanie's POV

Stephanie became aware of the soft velvet feel of the little white rabbit with blue button eyes cuddled up in her thin mocha latte colored arms. _Mocha latte colored? I must be dreaming_. Rubbing her cheek against the stuffed animal's head, the thought _Oh, Blanco, you are my best friend_ crossed her thoughts as if a small child spoke those words. She felt the overwhelming sense of safety and security well up inside, with her little white toy cradled against her chest. Mixed into that was also a feeling of pride and joy for working so hard to earn the little rabbit, all wrapped in a blanket of love that surrounded her.

Larger hands crossed into her view and snatched the rabbit away, inciting a sense of panic and loss. She looked up and saw Celia with a smug smirk on her ten year old face, holding her beloved toy over her head just out of reach. "You are such a baby, Dodo. Look at you, almost seven years old and still playing with stuffed baby toys. I think I will just throw this in the trash," she taunted. Celia made to move to the garbage can.

Stephanie jumped up and stood before her sister, glaring up at her _. Sister? What the hell? This wasn't Val. I don't know anyone named Celia. Hmmm. Still must be part of this weird-assed dream._ "Abuela gave it to me, Cee! It's my special gift! Give it back!" Stephanie felt the big hot tears of frustration well up and begin to track down her cheeks. She tried in vain to jump up and grab her rabbit, but Celia kept moving it up just out of her reach.

"Oh come on Dodo, you want it that bad? Well, tough! It's mine now. Besides, it's a girl toy, not a boy toy for a little baby like you." Stephanie frowned in her mind. _That makes absolutely no sense, I'm a girl too. What the heck did I drink last night?_

At that moment Mami came into the room. "Children! What is all of this noise about?" She stood in front of the two of them, looking down with one eyebrow raised and the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown. Hands placed on both hips, she began to tap her left foot, anticipating an answer to her question.

"Dodo wanted to take my rabbit from me, Mami. He thinks Abuela gave it to him, but it's a girl toy, so it must be for me." Celia held the small white rabbit in front of her as if to snuggle it gently to her, while she tried her hardest to convey earnest sincerity with her big brown eyes. "It means so much to me. I love it." Steph watched in horror as Celia started swinging the little rabbit roughly around by one of its ears.

"Celia, do not call your brother that name. It isn't nice."

Celia gave Steph a saccharine laced smile. "I'm sorry, Ricar-DOH. But this is still not just your rabbit."

Mami turned toward Steph. "And what do you think, little one? What have you to say?" Mami kneeled down to look her directly in the eye. Her first instinct was to fight tooth and nail for her beloved Blanco. After all, it belonged to her. _Mine_. She felt herself still as she searched Mami's face for a clue how to react. Even in her small six year old frame of mind, she realized that the more she pleaded for the rabbit, the more she demonstrated her desire to have her beloved Blanco all to herself, the harder Celia would work to make sure that Blanco never came back to her.

Making a split decision, Steph told her Mami "Abuela gave me the rabbit as a gift for my grades." Mami touched her gently on her cheek. "And did she say the toy was just for you, or were you to share it, niño?" Steph looked down at her scuffed sneakers and shrugged. She knew if she fought for her little white rabbit, Celia would fight harder and ultimately tear it apart and destroy Blanco just so she couldn't have it.

"It doesn't mean anything to me. If Cee wants it, she can have it." Those words tore at her insides, making her small frame feel an overwhelming sense of loss. She worked hard to remove any trace of emotions from her face in order to convince her sister and mother of the sincerity of those words. _I would give Blanco up if it keeps him safe. Cee will never love him like I do._ She tried to push down all of those painful feelings deep inside, but those uncomfortable sensations swallowed her, pulling her back into darkness.

xxxx

"Why Carlos? What were you thinking?" Mami's voice rang out loud and clear as Steph slouched down in a straight-back chair, cramming her hands in the pockets of her oversized black hoodie. A mirror caught her eye, shocking her to see a familiar angry face of a Latino teen glaring back at her. The black ball cap sat at an angle over a gold colored bandana that was tied around straight silky black hair. Mami was standing across from her, pacing next to a plain stainless steel table in what appeared to be an interrogation room at a police station.

 _Holy shit! I'm dreaming about Ranger! Wait – What? Why am I dreaming I'm him? This makes no sense…._

"Carlos. Please, son, _please_." Mami came up to Stephanie and placed her hand on her shoulder. Steph could feel herself shrug Mami's hand off. "Please listen to reason. Your father needs to hear your side too. What you are doing is not the answer." She saw the loving concern and sincerity in Mami's eyes, yet could only feel an overwhelming sense of distrust, anger, and resounding resentment in response. Those feelings pounded her in intense waves, making her feel like running away.

With no control over it, she turned to glare with stony eyes at Mami. "It doesn't matter what I say or do anymore. You all will believe what you will about me, truth or not. Papi has already passed judgement on me, so I might as well go out and earn some stripes. You know, do the deed I'm getting credit for." She felt herself cross her arms across her chest and sneer.

Mami's face fell and tears welled up in her eyes. Leaning in toward Steph, she made to grab her hands out of the hoodie pockets. "My son _, please_ for the love of God talk to me," she pleaded. "You never defend yourself." She paused and whispered "Please, before things get out of hand."

Steph felt a sliver of guilt invade her heart for a split second, causing hurt and pain to lance out through her. Quickly, she pushed the guilt away. Better to be pissed off, than show weakness. _Where did that come from?_

She heard herself sigh. "I will never be enough, Mami. I'll never be Celia or Marco. I'll never be cute and funny like Lucy or Mariella. It's always been 'Try harder Carlos', 'You know better Carlos'. Or better yet, "Why can't you be like your brother or sisters?' I will never measure up to Papi."

The door to the room opened and a tall, distinguished man of Latin heritage entered, stopping a couple of steps inside the door. He stood still, taking in Stephanie and Mami's interactions, then crossed his arms and scowled. "Well, Ricardo Carlos. What could you possibly say to defend yourself this time? How stupid can you be?!" Throwing his arms up in the air he turned and faced the wall, giving Stephanie his profile.

 _Ranger looks so much like his father. At least, I assume this is his father. Since it's my dream, I'll just make him good ol' Papi._

Stephanie just glared at Papi, in spite of trying to will herself not to. Papi turned toward her. "Stealing! A car! This will not be tolerated! I will not have this under my roof."

Steph continued the silent glare, but inside she could feel a knot of anxiety forming in the pit of her stomach. Papi walked over to the table that separated them and smacked both of the palms of his hands on the surface, causing Mami to jump. He put his weight on his hands, leaning in closely toward Stephanie. "I will not let you bring shame to our family. We have worked too hard to leave the dark shadows that you threaten to bring back to us. I have contacted your Abuela in Miami and you are going to stay with her." Papi stood up and walked toward the door, then paused before leaving. "Maybe she can work a miracle on you that I couldn't."

Stephanie felt her stomach roll with hurt and pain. _Abandoned and rejected. He's only a boy! My God._ It was so intense, she tried to physically move from it. All she was able to do was drift back into the darkness again.

xxxxx

It had been forty-eight hours since Steph and Ranger were admitted to the hospital and Tank tried to keep vigil at both of his friend's bedsides, alternating places with Lester and Bobby. Tank's attention was pulled away from the latest edition of Modern Soldier by the loud chirping of Stephanie's heart rate alarms. He reached over and hit the call button for a nurse. As the nurse entered to check out Stephanie's alarms, he thought he saw her eyes moving underneath her closed eyelids.

"Did you see that? I think her eyes are moving." He pointed at Steph's face. The nurse silenced the alarms and checked Stephanie's vital signs before she was satisfied her condition was not changing for the worse. The nurse stopped to observe Steph's face for a moment and was surprised when she saw the same thing that Tank did.

"I'm going to call Miss Plum's doctor and let him know what we just saw. I don't want to speculate here, but she may be trying to come out of her coma." As the nurse exited the room, Tank scooted his chair closer to the side of Stephanie's bed and gently took her small hand in his large one. He knew he should call and tell Steph's parents about this, but knew if they showed up, so would Morelli.

 _That rat bastard._ Junior and Woody had reported to Tank the overheard conversation between Morelli and the nurse named Marie. It was all Tank could do not to find him and pound his sorry ass into the concrete. Citing a conflict of interest, he did request that Marie not be assigned as Stephanie's caregiver any longer. He wondered how long it would take before they figured out Rangeman was aware of what went down in Steph's room. He prayed that Bobby kept Lester in check or Morelli might wind up in the hospital too. Regardless of how he felt, he would not cross that imaginary line in the sand and tell Stephanie's parents about what Morelli had said.

 _-tbc-_

 _A/N: So, if the formatting confused you, Stephanie is seeing things through Ranger's eyes/point of view. I will be using this style off and on now. Thank you all for the reviews and follows of this story!_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Character thoughts in italics. I forgot to thank Susan for proofing chapter 7 for me, so a great big_ _ **Thank You**_ _goes out for that one and this chapter. Also, thank you so much for continuing to read my story. For all of you that are following or have favorited Sparking, I wanted to let you know that I have been dealing with an unexpected health care emergency with my mother that has kept me pretty tied up. Things are still not resolved yet, but I am hopeful that all will be settled soon. I had this chapter partially written before things went south, but am pretty sure that until all of the mama drama stops, the updates may be a bit farther apart. Please be patient with me – I am enjoying writing this way too much to stop, but need the time to let it come out of my brain. All recognizable characters belong to Janet; everything else including mistakes are completely mine._

Chapter 8

Stephanie felt like she'd been sucked into The Ranger Manoso Show. She paused and felt the comforting _lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub_ pull her towards an unfolding scene in front of her. She closed her eyes, then opened them to look around at the small living room where she was currently laying on the overstuffed couch with her tube-socked feet propped up above her. She became aware of a throbbing pain on her right cheek. Reaching up to touch it, she hissed with pain as she felt the swollen flesh surrounding it and her right eye.

"Here. Put this on it. It will help with the swelling and bruising, Carlito." Steph turned to see Abuela shake her head in exasperation as she gently laid a bag of frozen peas against her injured face.

"Lift up." Stephanie did as directed. Abuela sat down at the end of the couch then gently guided Steph's head to her lap and helped hold the bag of peas against her face. Steph closed her eyes as she felt all of the love and the warmth of finally being accepted well up inside her. _He loves her so much_ , she thought. Abuela's weathered hands gently smoothed over Steph's hair and gently rubbed her temples, causing her to relax and almost fall asleep.

She heard Abuela softly say, "Fighting to prove yourself is never the answer, my boy. You cannot force something to happen, no matter how much you wish it." Abuela's fingers continued to gently stroke her hair, much like that of a cat.

Steph felt herself let out a long, drawn out sigh. _Who knew he could out-sigh me? Huh. I bet he used to roll his eyes too._ "Lester hit on Anita while I went to get drinks for us. He needed to learn that what's mine is off limits."

Abuela's hand stilled momentarily. "I see. So why is it you had to have your cousin pull the girl off of you before she gave you a fat lip too, huh?" She gently resumed rubbing Steph's temples and hair.

Steph felt herself mumble "Because she didn't want to be with me, she wanted to go with Lester to the dance. She took exception when I pulled him off of her." She felt her whole disposition begin to sour with that thought and jealousy laced angst like she never felt lanced through her. "It's not right, Abuela. I thought that Anita and I –" she cleared her throat. "I thought we were meant to be. She went with me to the dance, not Lester. He had no right to take her from me. He kissed her, right there in front of me and she let him!" Steph's heart lurched with pain.

 _That little skank broke his heart! For the love of God, for Lester? I'm going to kick Les' ass for this as soon as I can._

Abuela made a tsking sound in reply. "Carlito, you are not even fifteen years old yet. The one that your heart is meant for is waiting for you to finish growing and become a man of honor with a fearless heart filled with courage. This is just a stepping stone for you to get to her. When it is right, you will not have to fight for her, she will willingly come to you because there will be no other option but for her to love you as you will love her. Be patient, my boy. And no more fighting. You are not too old to be turned over this old woman's knee, you know." Stretching like a cat, Steph turned her head towards Abuela's hand, and felt a peaceful sense of love and contentment resurface as she closed her eyes.

xxxx

She felt herself tumbling. She saw Christmas through nine year old Ranger's eyes as he eagerly awaited with his siblings for Mami to make her special Christmas pancakes filled with pecans and loaded with warm melting cinnamon butter that swam in real maple syrup. She could smell bacon and ham Mami had sizzling on the stove top and her mouth watered.

 _Well, he didn't eat rabbit food when he was a kid. Looks like someone has a weakness for pecan pancakes._

The scene shifted. Now she was running on a playground filled with other small children. The carefree exuberance that flowed through her made her want to throw her head back and laugh. "You can't catch me!" she shouted over her shoulder as the other seven year olds also ran from being tagged out. She stubbed her foot on an uneven spot in the ground and tumbled, hitting her chin on the concrete.

Stephanie winced inwardly as sharp pain shot through her chin. She tried valiantly to hold back the tears that threatened to fall as the playground monitor ran over to her. "Carlos, let me see." The woman gently helped Steph up and examined her face. She gave a low whistle. "That's going to need some attention young man. Let's go call your mother and get you taken care of."

As she took the monitor's hand, the scenes began to shift more rapidly, bringing snatches of thoughts and feelings that just felt so real to Stephanie.

Sitting in the fall afternoon on the front stoop of Abuela's house enjoying the sun on her face.

Riding in the backseat with Lester and some of his amigos, feeling desperately the need to fit in.

The thrill of sneaking a pack of cigarettes out of the local gas station.

Feeling like puking after taking a long drag off of his first cigarette, trying not to lose face.

Feeling overwhelming embarrassment when the uncontrolled coughing fit started, and the taunting laughter started.

Sneaking in the girl's locker room and watching them change for gym class, then trying to figure out how to get out without being caught.

Feeling like being the third wheel. Never quite good enough. Being on the outside looking in. Feeling the need to be best. Feeling the overwhelming need to just. Be. More.

Not liking how these emotions and feelings where making her feel, Steph began fighting to distance herself from them. She tried to think about Rex. She tried to think about Grandma Mazur. Still, the unpleasant emotions and snatches of dreams that she didn't remember but felt like she was remembering kept inundating her.

She became aware of alarms beeping and of a large warm hand grasping hers. She could hear a familiar deep baritone voice getting closer and closer to her calling her name, telling her to open her eyes. _That's Tank. What's he doing in my dreams now?_ She began to feel intense discomfort again – her leg and chest were killing her. Aggravated for being woken up from such a unique dream, she turned her head away from the noise, and mumbled, "Shut up and let me sleep!"

She didn't expect loud booming laughter to surround her, which caused her to turn her head back and inwardly wince at the dull pain that generated. Forcing her eyes open to the glaring light, she attempted to give the source of her aggravation her patented glare.

xxxxx

 _-tbc-_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: All character thoughts are in italics. Thanks again to Susan for editing and encouraging. All recognizable characters belong to Janet, the plot and any mistakes are all mine. So, now we are seeing what is going on in Ranger's head as he remains in his coma. The next 2 chapters coincide with the last 2 chapters that featured Stephanie getting a glimpse into Ranger's memories._

Chapter 9

Ranger became aware of the soft strains of Sinatra gradually becoming louder. Feeling strangely adrift, he channeled all of his past training in order to sense his surroundings before he acted. The gentle rocking motions on his small frame began to soothe him as the wind danced the escaping curls from his pony tail across his face, tickling his nose. He felt himself snuggle into a pair of strong arms and sigh happily. He heard his high pitched girlish voice say "Daddy, when I grow up, I wanna marry you." Inwardly, he cringed.

 _What. The. Fuck._

 _Bad drugs. I'm having a reaction to bad drugs. That's it._

He felt himself look up to a younger, much more in shape Frank Plum and smile. Frank looked down on him and chuckled affectionately. "Sorry Pumpkin. I'm already married to your mother. I promise there'll be someone out there for you that will make you forget your old man one day." Frank continued to rock them to and fro on a big white porch swing as lightning bugs came out in the early summer evening.

He felt himself shake his head vehemently, in spite of trying not to react. "No way! You're the best daddy in the whole world, Daddy. I'm never, ever, ever gonna get married in my whole entire life then."

Ranger could see himself reflected in the mirrored sunglasses Frank Plum wore. He was rendered speechless. Instead of a handsome well-muscled Latino man, a small pale little girl with luminous blue eyes framed by beautiful, bouncy brown curls barely contained in a ponytail stared back at him. If he didn't know any better, that could be Stephanie's daughter.

 _Or twin. Get a grip Manoso._

As he tried to will his mind out of whatever dream-trip it had taken him on, he felt himself being lifted up out of the swing, and put on Frank's shoulders. He felt Frank's large hand pat his knee as they walked out into the small front yard. "Pumpkin, I promise you'll change your mind one day. But in the meantime, let's catch us some lightning bugs." Ranger couldn't help it, he let loose a peal of 4 year old little girl giggles as he felt himself being lifted up and tossed in the air by Frank. He closed his eyes and spread his tiny arms out wide, enjoying exciting feel of flying through the air only to land safely in the strong, accepting arms of his daddy. As he was tossed again, he felt himself float once again into a dark, dreamless sleep.

xxxxxxxx

Ranger became aware of raised, angry voices. Drawing his knees up tight against his 6 year old chest, he tried to make himself invisible as he sat under the kitchen table, hiding. Confusion, shame, and hurt lanced through him as he picked up snatches of a heated conversation between his parents.

"…..You were supposed to be watching her! You didn't even know she left the house!"

"…..Not my fault! How was I supposed to know what she was doing?"

"…..I work all day for a Goddamn living, so you can stay home and raise our children, not ignore them!"

"…..Don't curse at me Frank! I am doing my best, here. If you would quit encouraging her to be so adventurous and be more like normal little girls, this wouldn't have happened! And now, everyone knows what she did! And I wasn't ignoring her. I was playing tea party with Valerie! Stephanie wouldn't join us! She's just too independent for her own good!"

"…. And being independent is a bad thing? Jesus! I give up, Helen! I freakin' give up!" Loud footsteps were followed by a slamming of the front door.

 _Stephanie? I'm dreaming I'm Stephanie? If I have to relive Morelli touching me, I'm going to kill the hairy bastard as soon as I take a scalding hot shower._

The heavy disappointment in his mother's voice made him wither up inside. His little stomach felt like it was in knots, making him want to throw up from shame, even though he wasn't exactly sure what it was that he did wrong. _Oh God. I do know what happened—Steph told me._ _She really thought it was just a game but that little Italian prick knew exactly what he was doing to her! She minimalized what happened._ Grimacing inwardly, he felt his stomach roll.

It was such an uncomfortable sensation. Crawling out from under the table and snatching one of the cannolis sitting on a plate, he crammed it in his mouth to keep from sobbing out loud and drawing attention back to himself. The explosion of flavors immediately comforted him, reminding him of going to the bakery with his daddy to get them. It helped him block out his mother's insistence that what happened was his own fault for not being ladylike. He just wanted his Daddy to come back, pick him up and rock him again on the swing. He closed his eyes, wishing he was back safe in his daddy's arms and drifted back into darkness.

xxxxxxx

"Come out and show us what it looks like, Steph!" Ranger turned towards the mirror in the room he was in and saw eight year old Stephanie staring back at himself with a look of abject horror on his face.

"No! I'm not leaving my room. I'll stay here and you can get Grandma to come and stay with me!"

The door knob rattled with his mother's attempts to enter his room. "Stephanie Michelle Plum. Do not be difficult today of all days!"

Ranger felt himself roll his eyes and let out a deep sigh. _Don't blame you, Babe. I wouldn't want my worst enemy caught dead in this get up._

He gingerly touched the multiple layers of starched ruffles that stood out stiffly around his neck almost like an Elizabethan collar. His eyes moved to the exaggerated puffs of pale pink sleeves that gathered right above her elbows with large lacy bows that matched the one at his waistline. The pale pink skirt of the dress stretched over the multiple layers of white ruffles that caused it to stand out away from his legs like a hula-hoop. The end of the dress stopped just above his skinned up knees. The ruffled socks covered the mosquito bites that he scratched raw on his ankles. The patent leather Mary Janes on his feet were already pinching his toes.

His attention was pulled away from the pink-meringue monstrosity he was wearing by the locking mechanism tumbling and the door rapidly swinging wide open. He tried to raise one eyebrow, but instead found himself putting his hands on his hips and glaring at Stephanie's mother.

A younger, thinner Helen Plum stopped, smiled and clasped her hands together over her heart. "Now see, it's just perfect. You look like such a sweet little lady, Stephanie. Valerie! Come on in to your sister's room so that I can see you two together."

 _Stephanie looks like her mother. Thank God she doesn't have her personality._

Ranger felt his jaw drop. Valerie glided into his room, dressed in the exact same outfit except it was pale blue. He really wanted to vomit as Valerie preened in the mirror, standing much like a child beauty contestant would. He felt his mother's hands start pulling his curls back into some type of pony tail again and fix something in his hair.

"There. That makes it complete." Helen pursed her lips, and frowned. "I can't do anything about your horrible looking knees, but your hair, I can do something about. Every little lady needs a bow in her hair. Just think about what all the girls there will say, Stephanie! "

He repressed a snort of derision. "Mommy, I don't want to wear this – it's awful! I don't care what the other girls say – I don't like any of them except Mary Lou, anyway! Why can't I wear my dress I picked out for the party? I can't jump rope or play tag in this!"

Valerie turned toward him and shot him a haughty look. "You should be thankful that mom took the time to make this for us, Steph. Only dorks would want to wear what you picked out. Everyone else will be all dressed up but you. If you change, I'm not playing with you. I don't want people to know I'm with you." She emphasized her displeasure with a sniff.

Helen Plum leaned down and straightened the bow on Ranger's left elbow. "It doesn't matter what you want right now, young lady. You will wear this and you will be extra careful not to ruin it like you do with all of your other clothes." Helen sighed with exasperation thinking about what was to come. "I don't want to hear from the other girls' mothers how you went out of your way rolling around in the dirt like some common street urchin. Please try to act like what's expected of you. Behave yourself, or you're grounded from dessert for a week."

Ranger felt hot tears of frustration build behind his eyes. The thought _I won't let them see me cry. I won't_ drifted across his mind, as he hung his head in defeat and nodded numbly. His throat felt tight trying to fight off the dejected feeling that swamped him. He looked longingly at the simple blue short sleeved dress with pearl buttons up the front that his mother now picked up and carelessly tossed in the top of his closet. The heavy feelings of not being good enough got stronger, forcing him to close his eyes and will himself away from the unhappy scene.

 _Oh, Babe. You were perfect even then, even in this bizarre dream. Why couldn't they just let you be you?_ Was the last though that he had as he found darkness again.

-tbc-


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks to Susan for the editing and quick feedback – I hope you had a great trip! All recognizable characters belong to Janet, the rest, including mistakes are all mine. Thanks for continuing to read!_

 _A/N: character thoughts in italics._

Chapter 10

Lester watched his cousin's heart rate on the overhead monitor slowly start climbing. He really hoped that after these first 48 hours had passed, Ranger would be coming out of his coma. Rubbing his hands down his face, he leaned slightly forward to watch Ranger's breathing. Shaking his head, he muttered to himself "Not sure what's going on inside there cuz, but it's getting more response out of you than I've seen in a while."

Les frowned as the heart rate monitor started to alarm. His attention was pulled back to Ranger as he observed his cousin's arms and legs subtly begin to twitch. Reaching for the call button, he pushed it rapidly, then pushed it again for good measure. Hoping to get the nurse in here, he hit the button again, before jumping up, poking his head out of room and yelling "Hey! I think I need some help in here! Something's going down!"

xxxxxxx

Ranger's POV

Ranger opened his eyes and stared at the tiled ceiling of the Tasty Pastry. The overwhelming need to cry swamped him. _What the hell?_ He heard the door jingle open and the sound of Morelli's voice call out, "You know I can't start anything with you now Cupcake, but thanks for one hell of a sendoff!"

The door slammed shut, causing him to flinch. He sat up as the hot tears of humiliation and frustration welled up and ran down his cheeks. Reaching up to push back his unruly curls that spilled haphazardly into his face, he caught his reflection in the glass of the pastry case. If he could have, he would have gasped. Stephanie's tear streaked face stared back at him. He saw utter despair reflected from her big blue eyes as the realization of what just happened sank in. He heard Steph's voice whisper to no one "I thought you said I was special. I thought you would make this special for me."

 _No. Oh please God, just no. I'll gladly go through Columbia again instead of this. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to rip him apart for doing this to her._

Ranger wanted to close his eyes and disappear but couldn't. He was bombarded with feelings of humiliation and shame, with the sense of feeling desired and being special to one of being replaced by overwhelming let down and rejection. The knots he felt in his stomach clenched tighter as he felt himself wrap his arms around his middle and rock himself for some semblance of comfort. Stephanie's thoughts of 'Oh, my God. The ass just used me for a booty call' flew through his mind, triggering a blind wave of hot anger and the need for revenge.

He willed himself to get up and hunt Morelli down so he could beat him to within an inch of his life. Instead, he rolled over to get up and felt himself straightening his clothes back in place. Propped up against the back of the donut case, he sat there with his head in his hands. No matter how hard he fought to maintain control, he still found himself sobbing quietly. Ranger found himself wishing he could walk into this bizarre dream as himself and pull his babe into his arms to comfort and protect her, but just couldn't shift the direction of the dream.

 _No more. Please no more of this nightmare. Stephanie…babe._ He groaned inwardly.

Ranger forced himself to push past the feelings of inadequacy, humiliation, and pain. He found himself floating again, but the darkness didn't seem to be quite as comforting this time as the feelings of inadequacy and rejection stayed with him.

xxxxxxx

Lester leaned back against the far wall of Ranger's room and watched as the neurologist examined his cousin. The doctor finished shining his penlight in both of Ranger's eyes, then stood up and motioned for Lester to follow him out into the hallway. Passing Hal and Woody outside of the door, he nodded his head toward Hal, indicating for him to take his spot until he returned. Rapping on Stephanie's door, Les poked his head in and spotted Tank in the chair by the window laughing heartily.

"Hey man, something's changing with Ranger. You might want to step out and hear this with me."

Tank stopped and wiped his eyes. "No shit? I think Steph's waking up, man. Is the doctor out there? You might want him to come in here and look her over too."

After the neurologist finished examining Stephanie, he directed both Tank and Lester to the conference room on the floor. Grinning, the neurologist cleared his throat and made eye contact with each man. "Gentleman. It seems that Mr. Manoso may entering the early stages of resurfacing from the coma he is in. When the nurse called with the changes she noted earlier, I was extremely concerned we were seeing evidence of brain injury from his fall and the lightning strike in the form of seizures. After examining him myself and seeing the activity that was described to me, I have a strong suspicion that he is slowly regaining consciousness."

Tank frowned. "Doc, if he's regaining consciousness, why is it taking so long? Shouldn't he just wake up?"

The neurologist gave a half smile at him. "That's what the movies want us to think. It's much more dramatic that way, but unfortunately it's not how it happens. It could take days, weeks, or even months for Mr. Manoso to fully regain consciousness."

Tank leaned forward, placing his elbow on the table. "Well how do you explain what's going on with Steph?"

The doctor grinned broadly at him again, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head. "I have no explanation for that one. Miss Plum is awake, talking albeit some of what she is saying doesn't really make any sense at the moment to me. Maybe if you two talk with her it will. She is quite frankly a miracle in my eyes. We will need to watch her very closely for the next 48 hours, then she can possibly be dismissed to home if her physical status remains stable."

A collective sigh of relief was let out by both. The doctor stood. "If there are no other questions? I need to go back to my other patients".

Les and Tank agreed to swap rooms and returned to their charges after walking out with the neurologist. While Tank took care of notifying Ranger's family of the status updates, Les mentally girded his loins and called the Plums and updated them. He watched Stephanie become restless in the bed as her heart monitor began to alarm. Rolling his eyes upward, he sighed with his hands held up and said to the ceiling "What the hell? Am I on monitor patrol today or what? Come on…"

Lester leaned over Stephanie as he realized she was mumbling something. Trying to calm her down so that he could understand her, he gently started stroking her hair back from her forehead.

"Shh, shh, shh. Here now. It's gonna be alright Steph. You're safe," he whispered to her. He felt her body tremble and begin to twitch, then stiffen up. Her words became more forced, more painful to say, louder and laced with controlled anger. He jerked back with horror when he realized what she was saying.

"Sergeant First Class Ricardo Carlos Manoso, D4 2809977, August 28. Sergeant First Class Ricardo Carlos Manoso, D4 2809977, August 28. Sergeant First Class Ricardo Carlos Manoso, D4 2809977, August 28."

He was there the only other time he heard this said in the exact same manner. He sat down in the chair and ran a hand over his pale face. "Oh sweet Jesus. What the hell – no how in the hell?" he said to himself. He pulled out his phone and sent a 911 text to Tank and Bobby with the following message:

 **Houston, we have a BIG problem.**

-tbc—

 _A/N: I'm hoping that I will be able to write and post a bit more frequently soon. My mother's health situation continues to be an ongoing issue at the moment, and I just survived closing out the semester for 2 awesome classes of future nurses. I want to take a moment to thank each person that has read, reviewed, followed, or favorited my story or me. I am truly humbled!_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: All character thoughts are in italic. All recognizable characters belong to Janet; I'm just taking them on an adventure they will never forget. Thanks again to Susan for proofing this. Any mistakes noted are all mine, probably after I dinked with the chapter after she finished proofing._

Chapter 11

Tank and Bobby entered the private consultation room where Lester paced nervously. "Hey man, what's –"

Lester held up his hand to his mouth to make a quiet sound, then pulled out a piece of paper and scrawled on it. He handed it to Bobby, then went to lock the door.

Bobby nodded in understanding, smirking at Tank. He pulled out a bug detector and walked a grid around the small room that smelled faintly of antiseptic and rubber gloves. "It's all clean in here. I'm gonna leave this on so it will emit a strong wave frequency scrambler, but we'll need to hurry so it won't mess with all of the ICU monitors." He looked at Lester and raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm assuming this is gonna be good, since you asked me to bring this here."

Lester pulled out a chair from the round table, flipped it around backward, and straddled it. Leaning his elbows on the back of the chair, he blew a deep breath out and widened his eyes. "Dude, if you only knew the half of it. I'm not sure I know everything, but something hinky is going down in Plumville, if you know what I mean."

Tank raised his eyebrows at Santos and gave him a look of impatient disbelief. "Uh, no. We don't know what you mean. Try explaining it to us."

Les rolled his eyes. "Calm your tits man, I'm getting to it. Here's the deal. You said Steph was waking up, right?" He looked to Tank for validation. "Soooo. I'm in there after you, thinking this is gonna be great. Beautiful will wake up, see me, and I'll talk to her for a little bit. Only, that's not what happened."

Lester got up and started pacing nervously again. "Man, there's just no way to say this, so here goes. I watched her start mumbling something, so I tried to calm her down and talk to her. Instead, she does this full body thing that freaked me out." Les paused, looking at Tank, then Bobby. "She twisted her body so that it looked like her hands were bound behind her and she stiffened up like a freaking board, guys." He paused. "The worst part? She starts muttering Ranger's military data in SERE mode. She even had his inflections down. I'm telling you, it made the hair stand up on the back of my arms. It's like I was watching and listening to Ranger in Columbia again."

Bobby steepled the fingers of his hands together in front of his face, mulling over what Lester said. Tank leaned back in his chair, making it creak from strain, then crossed his arms and scowled at Lester.

"You trying to tell me we got a Freaky Friday situation on our hands, Santos? What the hell have you been drinking?" Tank growled.

Lester made an exasperated face at Tank. "I don't know what kind of situation we got, dude. I'm just telling you what I saw and heard. I think Core team needs to camp out in Steph's room for a while until we get a handle on whatever is going on. You all know that if anyone finds out some of the stuff I just heard coming out of her mouth, we will have to do some damage control."

Bobby winced in understanding. "Fuck. She's a dead woman if what you're saying is true."

xxxxxx

The first thing that Stephanie became aware of was a symphony of snoring surrounding her. The next and more emergent thing that drew her awareness was the uncomfortable pins and needles tingly feeling in the right side of her chest. She became aware of a dull ache in her right thigh, but it was more of a nuisance than anything else. Opening her eyes, she blinked a few times to clear them.

 _Oh boy. I'm obviously in a hospital room. What happened this time?_

She tried to roll over towards the snores.

 _Jeez, I'm as weak as a wet paper bag. What the hell happened?_

She managed to shift herself to her left side enough to see Tank, Lester, and Bobby sprawled out in rather uncomfortable positions in waiting chairs sleeping. They all looked a little rough around the edges and very rumpled. She raised her eyebrows at that and wondered just how long everyone had been there.

She cleared her throat and was surprised at how weak and raspy it was. "Guys. _Ahem_ …. Hey."

Tank shifted awake in his chair and blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out what woke him. He glanced over to make sure Stephanie was still alright and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw her clear blue eyes smiling back at him in recognition. Getting up, he walked over and squatted down in front of her. He reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder.

"Welcome back, Little Girl. We were a little worried if we would get to see those big blue eyes anytime soon."

Stephanie smiled back at him. "Hey Big Guy. Good to see you. Want to fill me in on why I'm here?"

Tank stood back up to pull his chair closer, and woke up Lester and Bobby in the process. Shaking his head, he pointed at Steph and grinned. "Look who finally decided she needed to join our party, gentlemen."

Lester and Bobby quickly jumped up, both grinning widely. Following Tank's lead, they scooted their chairs closer to Steph's head of the bed in order to talk to her.

Clearing her throat again, she looked over at Bobby. "Hey Bobby. Is it ok if I have some water? I feel like I've been in the hottest jungles of South America and I'm dry as a bone."

Lester shot Tank and Bobby a look that Stephanie couldn't interpret. He tried to cover whatever he wanted to communicate with a smile back at her. Leaning over her, he slowly raised her head of the bed to a semi sitting position. Pouring her a glass of water, he helped her with the straw.

"There you go, Steph."

Steph cleared her throat again after emptying her glass and sighed happily. "Thanks Les. That was almost better than pineapple upside down cake."

Sitting back down in his chair, Lester propped his elbows on his knees, leaning towards her. His face wore a mask of seriousness that Steph wasn't used to seeing on him. "Before we tell you what we know about what happened, what exactly do you remember?"

Steph stared up at the industrial tiled ceiling and muttered "That is the million-dollar question, folks." She wondered briefly if she would ever be able to successfully count all of the little holes in one of those tiles. Maybe if she started to count, the guys would forget about asking her what she remembered.

She squinched her eyes shut as Tank cleared his throat pointedly at her.

 _No such luck then, Plum._

Taking a big deep breath of air to bolster her courage, she opened her eyes and stared at her hands.

"Well, I remember sitting out in that damn tree doing surveillance for Ranger. I remember trying to move around and getting my pants stuck on a tree branch. I remember Ranger climbing up to help get me down." Making a face of concentration, Steph paused for a second, then shook her head. "I remember a big flash of light, and then some really bizarre dreams until I woke up to see you all snoring in my room."

Tank scooted his chair up next to the side of Steph's bed and gently held her hand, moving Lester out of his way. Taking over from Les, Tank smiled down at her.

"There's no way to sugar coat this, Little Girl. I'm not sure what happened before we got there, but here's what Les and I saw. Ranger was trying to climb down outta that tree with you when the tree branch you two were on was struck by lightning. All the doctors that looked you both over said if it had struck you directly, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

Tank had to clear his throat and look away for a moment to maintain control over his emotions, as Stephanie let that tidbit of information sink in. Once he had it back together, he looked back at Steph and gave her a half smile.

"You two were knocked outta the tree and managed to skewer yourselves together on a hunk of tree branch. It went through your right thigh and Ranger's left. Steph, you all were in a coma."

Stephanie's eyes widened in shock as she took all of this in. Pausing a couple of beats, she whispered, "How long? How long was I in a coma, Tank?"

"Almost 3 days Steph. The doctors weren't expecting you to wake up. The neurologist called you a miracle."

A wave of panic raced across Stephanie's face. "Oh, God. My parents…..my Grandma! I need to talk to them! I need –"

Bobby, standing on the opposite side of Tank and Lester, reached down and grabbed her free hand. "Steph, it's ok. We contacted them immediately after this all happened. They've been up here visiting twice a day and I call them with every update. We will call and let them know you're awake, but we wanted to talk to you first."

Bobby smiled reassuringly at her. "You said you had some bizarre dreams. Can you tell us about them? It may be you trying to process what happened to your body, and help you remember."

Chuckling, Steph shook her head. "I don't think those dreams were helping me remember anything, but I'll tell you about them. I think they're related to hitting my head on the ground, personally."

Gently rolling her shoulders to get more comfortable, she shook her head to clear the last remnants of fog that remained. She picked at the edge of the bedsheet nervously.

"So, just to be clear here, I'm not making this stuff up and remember you asked me to tell you about my dreams. Ground rules here guys are no laughing and no using this stuff against me. Deal?"

All three of her Merry Men nodded, their faces silently communicating their sincerity.

She sighed deeply. "Okay. So I know this sounds really, really weird, but I dreamed I was a little boy fighting with his sister over a stuffed rabbit. I remember really wanting to beat the shit out of this dream sister, but couldn't make myself do what I wanted – stupid brat kept calling me Dodo."

Lester's eyebrows shot up and he leaned forward. "What else do you remember about that dream, Steph?"

She shrugged. "Not much. I remember that dream me decided to – I think I called her Cee, come to think of it. I remember dream me decided it was better to just let her have the rabbit."

Lester schooled his face in order to not betray the emotions he was feeling. "Huh. Okay what else do you remember?"

Steph gave him a half smile. "Funny you should ask that. Another weird-assed dream had me dreaming I was freakin' Ranger, except I wasn't grown Ranger, I was pissed at the world teenage Ranger." She paused. "There was a man and woman in the dream, too. The woman I really wanted to be my mom but the man was a grade-A asshat. Told dream me that I had to go live with an Abuela, whatever that is. Then I was in Miami of all places – still dreaming I was pissed off teenage Ranger, mind you – but this time I was pissed at you, Lester." She giggled and shook her head. "Even in my dreams, you're a man whore. I dreamed you stole some girl away from me, and then I tried to kick your ass."

Lester's mouth thinned to a straight line. "What was her name, beautiful? Do you remember the girl's name?"

"Uh, I think her name was Nia, or Nita. Nooo… wait. Anita, that's it. Not sure why it matters, though."

Lester rolled his head, cracking his neck and closed his eyes for a moment. Bobby reached over and patted Steph's knee gently, and asked "Okay Steph. Anything else you remember while you were out?"

"Well, yeah. I dreamed about eating cinnamon pecan pancakes for Christmas – that was an awesome one. But there were some real nightmares in there too. I dreamed I was thug Ranger. I think there was one where I dreamed how he got that scar on his chin. I was on a school playground when I fell. I, uh. I also dreamed I was army Ranger, and that sucked." Steph closed her eyes and rubbed her hands down her face, in an attempt to wipe away those memories.

"What happened in that dream, Steph? You know you can tell Les, Tank, and me."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "Okay, okay. I dreamed I was chained up in a dirty one room hut with Tank and Lester. In the dream, I was beaten up and, and –" Steph shuddered and squeezed her eyes shut to keep from crying.

"In the dream, these people in black hoods put electric cables on me and kept shocking me, yelling at me to tell them why we were there. They took toothpicks and shoved them up under my toenails. They had clamps on my, uh, my privates and kept twisting them tighter and tighter. They threatened to kill Tank and Lester in front of me if I didn't talk." A tear slipped down her cheek as she glanced over at both of them. "I just kept repeating Ranger's name and a bunch of numbers over and over. I remember someone grabbing me by my hair and pulling my head back. I remember a red hot poker coming at me, thinking this was it when doors flew open and a bunch of big guys with green paint on their faces came in and shot the guys in the black hoods. I knew they were the good guys, but I woke up then."

Bobby moved over to sit on the side of the bed next to Stephanie. She was pale and the tears that she tried to hold back now flowed freely. He handed her a tissue.

Steph wiped her eyes and nose, then looked at Bobby. "You know, after talking about it, it probably was from the lighting and the injuries from the fall. Don't you think?" she asked hopefully.

Bobby looked down where he was holding her hand. "Steph, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but we don't think you were dreaming. We think you were remembering."

Pausing a beat, Stephanie let out a nervous giggle. "No. Freaking. Way."

Lester stood up and paced the floor, then stopped and looked at her. "Oh, yes way. Her name was Anita Mendez and she was my girl in Miami. Her parents wouldn't allow me to see her, so I had her ask Ranger to take her to the Spring dance. She was supposed to tell him she was meeting me there, but Ranger didn't believe her and got pissed when he walked in on us kissing. He tried to pull her away from me, and pulled back to hit me when she jumped on his back and punched the shit out of him. Blacked his eye, Steph. He was so pissed at me, he didn't talk to me for almost six months."

Stephanie's eyes widened in shock. She never mentioned the blacked eye or the detail about getting beat up by the girl.

Tank cleared his throat. "He's right, Little Girl. We really were there in Columbia with Ranger. That's no dream." He looked grimly at Lester, then Bobby. "Little girl, we got a big problem on our hands. That shit you just told us? No one knows about it. It was a black ops mission that officially has no record. Yet, you gave details that only someone there would be able to. Do you understand what this means?

Stephanie slowly lowered the head of her bed almost flat and crooked her arm over her eyes. Sighing yet again, she nodded. "Yep. I am officially screwed, boys. Now what am I going to do?"

 _-tbc-_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: All character thoughts are in italics. Janet owns all recognizable characters, but I'm just borrowing them. Thank you Susan for proofing this – any mistakes belong to solely to me. Did you all catch my boo-boo in the last chapter? I did and fixed it. Anita gave teen-aged Ranger a black eye, not a split lip in Steph's dream memory. The last chapter has been corrected to reflect it. Thanks again for all who keep reading!_

Chapter 12

Stephanie moved her arm from her eyes and tried to sit up. Wincing, she grabbed at her sore chest.

"Where's Ranger? I need to know. Is he okay?"

She closed her eyes and tried to remember being safe in his arms. For a moment she swore she could hear the soft steady _lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub_ of his heart beat and that soothed her fraying nerves a little. She looked searchingly in each of her Merry Men's eyes for an answer, but only met blank faces in return.

Panic slowly started to seep into the periphery of her mind. _Oh sweet God Ranger please be okay. I need you to be okay. I can't do this without you….._ The right side of Stephanie's chest began to burn and tingle and she could almost hear Ranger's voice feather over her saying _"I'm okay babe. I'm not going anywhere without you – need you…."_ She shook her head a little, trying to still what had to be her wistful overactive imagination.

"Steph, calm down." Bobby smiled a half smile at her. "He's in the room next to yours. The injuries that he sustained were remarkably similar to yours. He took the brunt of the fall for you two and popped his head pretty hard." Bobby chuckled. "Guess it's a good thing Ranger's so hard headed – he wound up with a concussion instead of scrambled brains on the side walk."

Stephanie blanched, and grabbed at her stomach. Worry filled her eyes.

"Oh, Jeez. Sorry Steph. Seriously, for the amount of trauma that you both went through, both of your injuries could have been much, much worse. The stick that went through your right thigh went through his left one. He also got hit by the deflected lightning strike and has a pretty good laceration on his shoulder from the fall."

Stephanie visibly relaxed. "So, when can I see him? I feel like –" she paused here, as she carefully chose her words so she didn't sound insane to her friends. "I feel like he _needs_ me to go to him, to see him."

She was met with averted eyes and silence. "Uh, guys?"

Bobby finally looked up at her. "Here's the thing. Ranger's still pretty deep in a coma. He has shown some early indications that he may be starting to come out of it, but the doctors think it's going to take a while. Plus, you really need to be looked over again. The doctors have been waiting until you were more stable neurologically before they did anything with your leg, Steph."

Stephanie nodded slowly, trying to process this. Still nodding, she slowly said, "I don't think I'm going to wait. If I need to be examined, Bobby can do it. I need to get to Ranger. I need to see him, like ten minutes ago."

Tank and Lester looked at each other, then at Bobby and did that silent communication thing that drove her nuts. His face portraying resigned acceptance, Bobby reached over and grabbed Stephanie's hand.

"Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. We need to get your doctor in here to look you over now you're awake. But, I'm gonna see if they will let me monitor you from here on out and just report back to them. You need to do this first and if you get the all clear, we will personally wheel you over to Ranger."

Stephanie's smile lit up the room.

Bobby held his hand up. "Hold up, hot shot. There's one more condition we need to add. We don't think that you should tell anyone else about your dream memories you had – and I mean anyone, Steph. It stays between us four. I really don't want you to say anything to Ranger. We need to figure out how to handle this. Anything else you remember, if you need to talk about it come to either Tank, Les, or me. This is nonnegotiable. As soon as I can, we want to get you discharged and move you into Rangeman."

Bobby watched steam start building behind Steph's eyes as she started to resist.

"Before you start, this is for your safety Steph. Plus, it will let me keep my end of the deal by watching your long term recovery needs. If you say no or fight me on this, you'll have to stay longer in the hospital."

Stephanie sighed as deeply as she could, given how much her chest was tingling, then rolled her eyes.

"Fine. But it's only until I'm completely healed. Now where is this doctor?"

xxxxxxx

"Well, that's the strangest thing."

Bobby waved his hand over the copies of lab results that he had privately run at Rangeman labs that were now spread out on the table in front of him. He turned towards Tank and rubbed the side of his head in puzzlement.

"I've been expecting Steph's blood count to start dropping, as well as for her to experience a type of autoimmune response from the large amount of Ranger's blood that entered her wounds. What the results are showing is that any blood components from Ranger are coexisting in a synergistic manner with hers."

Tank scrunched his eyebrows together. "Try that again in English, Brown."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "In layman's terms, for lack of a better description, it appears that it is actually strengthening her immune system as well as her body's healing properties. I noticed that her wounds have been healing at a remarkable pace but contributed it to the fact that she is young and relatively healthy. The surgeon doesn't think she'll need surgery now on her leg. This is truly remarkable – I've never seen or read about anything like this."

Tank steepled his fingers together and put them up against his mouth in thought. He glanced over to Bobby and said grimly "It is remarkable for her. I wonder if Ranger's blood work will show the same thing." He paused. "If it does, that could be bad news – they'll want to study both of them and write about it in all of those journals you read. We need to keep this on the down low. If Ranger's handler's find out, you do know what they'll do to him, right? Any chance you can lose those blood samples? We can't let them draw any more from either one of them while they're here."

Bobby grimaced. "I have my ways. I can fix this so nothing stands out as unusual." He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "You know we need to move them both as soon as possible, for their own safety?"

Tank stood up and walked to the door, then paused. "You handle your end and I'll take care of the rest."

xxxxxxx

Tank gently helped Stephanie to sit on the side of her bed. All of the doctors had just finished poking and prodding her, then declared her okay to get up. Her nurse had just left after removing all of her tubes and wires, with the exception of her portable heart monitor. She still felt grungy and wanted a shower desperately, but wanted to go see Ranger first. Tank positioned a wheelchair next to her.

"Okay, Little Girl. You wanna try to move over to the chair, or do you want some help?

Steph attempted to stand up with her weight on her left leg, only to sway and sit back down hard. She dropped her head to her chest and groaned in frustration, then looked up at him. "A little help would be great, Tank."

He gently lifted her by her waist and moved her to the wheelchair, then tucked a blanket over her legs for good measure. He wheeled her out into the hall, where she was greeted with hugs from more of the merry men who were on guard duty outside. Tank paused at the entrance to Ranger's room.

"Before we go in there, Steph, you need to prepare yourself. He still has all of those tubes and wires you just got rid of. He's been twitching off and on, but hasn't opened his eyes or tried to make any noises so far. Everyone keeps telling us to keep talking to him, that he can hear us."

Stephanie nodded solemnly at Tank. "I get it. Take me in there please."

As Tank wheeled her up towards Ranger's head of the bed, Stephanie felt a lump form in her throat. Working hard to push down the tears that threatened to spill out, she hesitantly reached out and trailed her fingers down Ranger's arm until she reached his hand. Needing to keep touching him, she laced her fingers through his.

As she clasped his hand tightly, the tingling and aching in her chest disappeared, much to her relief. She could focus on Ranger now, on the two days' worth of stubble on his handsome face. With her free hand, she gently stroked his cheek, taking comfort in the roughness it created. She leaned in toward him as far as she could.

"Hey," She whispered. "I'm here now. I know this is crazy, but I just felt like you needed me to come to you, you know?"

Stephanie scanned Ranger's body for any signs of movement. Seeing none, she sighed. "You know, this isn't how this scenario is supposed to go. I'm the one who is supposed to be stuck in a stupid hospital bed, unconscious, then wake up to see your face. I feel like this is all my fault that you're hurt. If I hadn't gotten stuck in that damn tree -." She paused, and swallowed hard, trying to keep her throat from closing up with tears. "This really sucks, Ranger."

Steph looked over towards where Tank was standing. Nodding with unspoken understanding, he stepped out of the room.

 _Huh. I think I just ESP'd Tank. How 'bout that?_

She turned her gaze back to Ranger, then scooted up as close as she could next to him. With a little effort and wiggling around, she was able lay her head down next his. Raising their joined hands up to her mouth, she gently kissed the back of his.

"Please come back to me, Ranger. I know you're in there. This sounds dumb, but I can _feel_ you in there. Please just come back to me. I'm so sorry."

Steph closed her eyes and gently wept.

xxxxxxx

Pain became more prominent, focused in his chest and left upper leg. His shoulder hurt. He was emotionally raw, a kind of hurt he was not accustomed to feeling. It was one he did not like at all. It was one thing to deal with his own emotional shit, but feeling like he was living through Stephanie's was more than he could process. All of the joyful dreams he had about Stephanie's childhood couldn't erase the bad ones. Ranger was floundering, unable to compartmentalize all of the different types of hurts and locations of pain that were causing him distress and keeping him from centering himself. This was an adversary he couldn't fight or put a bullet in.

As he started to curl up into himself, he began to feel the smallest amount of calm gentle strength infuse him. It was enough to stabilize him, to keep him from heading deeper into the black abyss that offered soothing numbness. He felt that calming sensation again, but much more strongly. It was as if a ray of sunshine forced itself out from the blackest of storm clouds, and shone right on him. It lit up a pathway for him, providing a direction to follow and restored his inner strength. Finding his ability to push all of the uncomfortable feelings and sensations back into a box, Ranger focused on his ray of light that beckoned to him.

It was hard – so damn hard – but he was determined to move further into the calming rays of the sunshine. As he drifted closer, he became aware of a strong tingly sensation in his chest slowly subsiding. He could hear a soft _lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub._ A hand clasped in his. Soft curls tickling the side of his face and neck. The pain was still there in his leg and intense, but her tear clogged voice was the best pain killer he ever had.

He heard her whisper to him _'Please just come back to me'_ and _'I'm sorry'._ At that point, nothing else in the world mattered or was as important as getting to his Babe. He had to let her know this wasn't her fault but his. His heart rate began to climb from the effort of his struggles and with Herculean effort, he cracked open his eyes to a blinding light, only to have to shut them from discomfort. He forced them open again and fought to keep them open. He focused all of his effort on his hand that was in hers and was able to give a weak squeeze.

Stephanie felt the fingers of Ranger's hand tighten in hers for a moment. Raising her head, she thought she saw his eyelids close. She leaned back, still holding his hand and looked him over for any sign that he was waking up.

"Tank! Tank – I need you now!"

Tank rushed into the room and made his way quickly over to Steph's side. "What's the matter, Steph?"

He pale tear streaked face looked up at him filled with hope. "I think he heard me! I think he's waking up!"

He noted Ranger's rising heart rate and respiratory rate on the monitors. He looked down to see his best friend's eyes blink open, then flutter shut, then open again. His lips began to move without any sounds.

Both Steph and Tank leaned in to try and hear what Ranger was saying.

"Babe." A long pause was followed again with "Babe…..not….your fault…."

Tank grinned like the Cheshire cat and laughed.

Stephanie rolled her eyes up into her head and fainted.

-tbc-


	13. Chapter 13

Ch. 13: The Sparking of Insight

 _A/N: Character thoughts appear in italics. All recognizable characters belong to Janet; I'm just giving them a bit of an adventure. Thanks again to Susan for proofing this!_

Tank quietly closed the door on Ranger's hospital room, then leaned back against it and closed his eyes. He was ready to take them both back to Rangeman, and seriously wondered if Stephanie's little incident just now could've slowed down their plans. He had gently picked Stephanie up and laid her in the bed next to Ranger after she fainted. Not surprisingly, all of the blaring alarms that belonged to him quieted as soon as Steph was pressed up against him. Steph's nurse came barreling into the room just a few seconds after he had moved her from her wheelchair, concerned about her heart rate. Apparently it had gotten erratic, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. The nurse was amazed that as soon as Steph was placed next to Ranger's side, her heart rate converted back to what it was supposed to be.

Tank smirked just a little. The nursing staff may be amazed by that, but he wasn't. Opening his eyes back up, he slapped his hands together and nodded at the latest batch of Rangeman guards standing sentry. He figured it was time to get something to drink, but he would just have to settle for coffee.

xxxxxx

Stephanie shifted the gear controls and steadily pushed down on the gas pedal. She could feel the layers of stress peel off her as the turbo accelerated down the open highway into big blue skies filled with puffy white clouds that framed the sun. She felt herself flip on the cruise control, then settled into the leather seats.

 _Ranger's turbo. God, I love that car. Almost as much – no, nope. Don't go there, Plum._

She felt herself reaching for the radio with the intent to find some Metallica but found herself tuning into the soft, soothing strains of classic harp accompanied by piano and flute. The feelings that anything was possible washed over her, and her lips curved up in a smile. A thought danced through her mind, a visual of _….herself?_

In her mind's eye, she saw herself as Ranger saw her. Big blue eyes the color of the summer sky. A halo of chestnut brown curls begging to have his hands run through it. Perfect curves in all the right places. Her smile, zeroing in on her luscious, kissable lips. Her witty and intelligent mind acted as a stimulant to his. She felt his craving of her, of being around her as intensely as she felt about him.

Her heart soared, but quickly crashed. She felt him do a mental about-face. Snippets of thoughts popped into her mind uncontrolled, followed by feelings of fear and of regret. Much to her surprise, a large amount of angst enveloped her.

… _Have to distance myself from her…_

… _.I just can't be with her that way…._

… _Stay in control of the situation…_

A cell phone chirped, and with the press of a button on the steering wheel, a bodiless voice drowned out the music.

"Boss, got some news that you wanted."

She looked into the rearview mirror and saw Ranger's aviator sunglasses perched on his nose reflected back. She heard Ranger's voice come out of her mouth.

"Report."

"Got the information regarding Steph that you asked for. Vinnie hasn't been working her for almost three months now. Bank statements show no deposits for almost two full months, and the balance is in single digits. I talked with Santos and Brown and neither of them have seen or heard from her in a couple of weeks."

Stephanie felt her stomach drop out beneath her. She couldn't tell if this was what Ranger was feeling or if it came from her. Tension creeped back up her spine, settling in her shoulders. This drive was anything but pleasurable now. She felt herself turn the turbo around and head back the way she came.

 _'Have to fix this, have to take care of her'_ floated through her mind, followed with resigned determination. In an instant she was aware of the plan that Ranger began putting together – the arranged stakeout, the falsified documents, pulling Tank and Lester in on his plans. The money. The night of the surveillance. The storm.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. Wanted to hug him for caring, then in the next instant wanted to beat the shit out of him for staging this whole thing, for lying to her.

 _I don't know what to do with this_.

Stephanie didn't know how to process all of the revelations she just had, so she willed herself away from the dream.

xxxxxx

Stephanie slowly woke up, thinking that this was the most comfortable she had been in a while. She mentally cataloged her aches and pains and was surprised to find them gone. As she became more alert, she realized her pillow was gently rising and falling. Opening her eyes, she was greeted with a view of Ranger's side profile. He was sleeping again, but seemed to be restless.

She grimaced, then reached over him for the call button, trying carefully not to disturb him. She needed to get away from him and all of the feelings her dream-memories were still evoking. She saw the nurse poke her head into the room and motioned that she wanted to go back to her own room.

Once settled back in to her own bed, Steph tried her best to deal with all of the emotions that swirled around in her. Feeling betrayed and manipulated, she didn't think that she could talk to Lester or Tank right now without losing her cool. She came to the conclusion that the best course of action was to keep this latest dream-memory to herself.

A knock at her door drew her attention.

Bobby poked his head in and grinned at her. "Can I come in, or is this a bad time?"

Steph grinned. Waving him in, she said "It's always a good time if you're bringing me good news. What's up?"

Bobby walked over and pulled a chair up next to her. Leaning in with his elbows on his knees, he just looked at her with his eyebrows raised for a minute.

"Any idea what caused you to faint earlier? You feel okay, Steph?"

Rolling her eyes at him, she sighed heavily. "I think I just was so surprised by everything. You know, relieved that Ranger was waking up. Plus, I may have overdone it just a little." She hastily added "But I feel much better now, much stronger."

She didn't mention that now she was back in her room, the pins and needles feeling was back with a vengeance in her chest and her thigh was aching like a bitch.

Bobby chuckled and shook his head a little. "Fine, fine. I thought I would tell you that while you took your little nap in there, Ranger came a little more alert and stayed awake for a couple of minutes before drifting back off. He didn't settle down until Tank put you up on his bed next to him."

Stephanie turned her head towards the window and stayed silent for a couple of beats. "Well, I guess that's good news." Turning her head back towards Bobby, she locked eyes with him. "Now, when do I get out of here? Spill it, Brown."

"Okay Miss Impatient. Word from the nurse's station is that if you stay stable or continue to improve without any setbacks, you'll be dismissed tomorrow into my care. The conditions are that you have to go back to Rangeman and stay there for your full recovery."

Steph didn't hesitate. "Deal. Just get me out of here."

Bobby reached over and patted Steph's arm. "Patience is a virtue, you know. I think that Ranger will be here a little while longer, but I foresee you both back at Rangeman within the next few days."

He stood, bent to hug her goodbye, and then left her to her own thoughts.

xxxxxxx

Ranger tried to open his eyes but found he couldn't. However, he could hear and hear very well. He became aware of rhythmic beeping around him, and a deep pain in his right leg.

 _I thought I hurt my left one? Was there more damage than I remember?_

He felt a large hand with callused fingers push a loose curl off of his forehead, then he heard the scraping of chair legs as they scooted across tiled flooring.

 _Loose curl? Oh, hell._

He inwardly steeled himself for one of these bizarre Stephanie dreams that continued to plague him. He was a bit surprised that he couldn't see anything. He willed his eyes open again but they stayed shut.

He heard Morelli's voice say in a very put-out tone "Jeez, Cupcake. I seriously don't think I can deal with this any longer. I don't want to have to worry constantly about you getting hurt and that's all you seem to do these days."

Ranger really wanted to shoot his eyebrows up in surprise, but couldn't make them move. After a couple of beats, he heard Morelli continue to tell Steph "I need stability in my life, not this. I tried, Steph. I really did, but I can't be in a relationship where I'm the only responsible one. It was great while it lasted."

 _Responsible my Cuban ass! The only thing he's responsible for is trying to hold Steph back and beat her down._

Ranger wanted to roar with anger on Stephanie's behalf. He wanted to jump out of the bed, wrap his fingers around that Italian prick's neck and snap it for hurting her when she was at her most vulnerable. He wanted to beat Morelli to a bloody pulp for not cherishing Stephanie as she deserved to be cherished – deep down how he wanted to cherish her. Instead, he was forced to lay there and listen as Morelli hit on a nurse while justifying his actions. He was swamped with Stephanie's pain from this. He felt her feelings of rejection and of overwhelming sadness and loss. Her grief was palpable to him. Ranger died just a little emotionally when he felt her tears run down her face as that rat bastard left her room with his new booty call.

xxxxxx

Later that night, Bobby sat in Ranger's room going over some lab work he had privately run on Ranger. As he suspected, Ranger's bloodwork showed the same thing that Stephanie's did. Bobby mulled over the implications of this. Ranger would heal faster from injuries and would be able to withstand worse injuries than ever before with minimal effects on his body from them.

 _Damn. If the ABC guys catch wind of what he can withstand now, there's no telling where they'll send him or what they'll make Ranger do for them with the right coercion. He'll be a walking experiment for them._

He wanted to ask him if he had dreams like Stephanie did, but decided that it was better to let Ranger bring it up first. He certainly didn't want to tip Ranger off that Steph was dreaming about his memories. Actually, he didn't want to let anyone know. If those ABC guys got wind, they would use Steph to coerce Ranger into being their puppet without any thought to their actions.

Rubbing his eyes, he stood and stretched the knots out of his back. As he turned, he noticed Ranger blinking while tentatively moving his hands to feel over his face and upper torso.

Moving over to the side of Ranger's bed, Bobby sighed with relief. "Hey man, good to see you back."

Ranger turned his eyes to Bobby and nodded.

"Brown." He cleared his raspy throat. "Damage report. Now."

-tbc-


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Character's thoughts are in italics. Janet owns all recognizable characters, but plot line and mistakes are all mine. Thank you again Susan for being so quick to fix this chapter so I can get it posted before I leave._

Chapter 14

"Damage report. Now."

Bobby shook his head and did a mental eye roll that would have made Steph proud if she could have seen it. Knowing this would take a while before Ranger was satisfied with his answers, he pulled up a chair, then settled in.

"How much do you remember Ranger?"

Ranger closed his eyes and stilled his breathing for a few moments. Opening them up, he turned his head toward Bobby.

"I tried to get Steph out of the tree. She was hurt and I needed to get her down safely. I… remember a flash of light and falling. Where is she? Is she okay? Is she –?"

Bobby watched Ranger's heartrate start to climb on his monitors while Ranger was talking. He held his hands up to stop him from going any further.

"Just calm down, she's okay. She was in here earlier to see you. I'll tell you all about her after we talk about you."

Nodding understanding, Ranger swallowed a couple of times and took a deep breath. "Okay. Continue."

"Laceration on your shoulder. Indirect hit from lightning that caused you to go into a pretty deep coma. Some heart irregularities at first but that seems to have self-corrected. Branch impaled your right thigh. You've been out for three days."

Ranger processed this, cataloging each injury by sensing for the level of discomfort he felt at each location. Bobby couldn't possibly be right regarding the extent of his injuries. He felt banged and bruised up, but impalement and lacerations? Head wounds? What he was detecting wasn't consistent with what he just heard.

He looked over toward Bobby. "Are your exaggerating my injuries to keep me here, Brown?"

Doing a Stephanie-worthy eye roll, Bobby just shook his head. "What purpose would that serve? It would just make us all miserable if I did that. I'm telling you, this is what happened." Bobby paused for a second then raised his eyebrows as a thought occurred to him.

"You know, when Steph woke up, her injuries had healed extraordinarily fast. It's possible that could be happening here with you." Bobby looked up to make sure the door was closed, then scooted closer. "I did some private lab work back at Rangeman. Boss, when you two fell, that branch went through both of you – there was a lot of bleeding going on. The doctors here were expecting both of you to start getting sick from that, but it didn't happen. The lab tests that I ran show that you and Steph actually have the opposite happening."

"Explain."

"Basically, your blood mixed with Steph's blood and it strengthened your immune systems and healing abilities, instead of making you sicker. I've shredded all documents and made sure all blood samples have disappeared so that this stays between us."

Ranger nodded in approval. "I want to be moved back to Rangeman as soon as possible. Make it happen."

Bobby smiled. "I'm already working on it, but for once you're just gonna have to be a little patient. You're not going anywhere until you've been awake for 24 hours. Besides, it's going to take everything we've got to get Steph out of here and settled back home."

Ranger stared at him. "Home? As in her apartment?"

He closed his eyes as his stomach knotted up. He needed to be near her and couldn't fathom her staying by herself there. The thought that she might go home to Morelli skittered across his mind, but that triggered a memory of his dream he had. He remembered the harsh words, but more importantly he remembered how Stephanie felt hearing those words – the sadness and rejection. The hurt.

 _She has feelings for him, even after that. I gotta back off, give her space. But still…_

Bobby shook his head. "No, I told her if she was going home this soon, it had to be back at Rangeman under my care. She had pretty much the same injuries as you, minus the shoulder injury. She has really bounced back amazingly fast, but she still has a lot of recuperating to do and needs medical supervision. I was going to put her up on seven."

"No."

That took Bobby by surprise. He didn't say anything.

"If she's coming back there, offer her a place on four. Besides, it's closer to you."

Bobby shook his head in bewilderment. "That makes no sense, Ranger. It would be easier to check on both of you together."

"Just do it, Brown. That's an order!"

Bobby stood up and raised his hands in surrender. "Okay Boss. Whatever you say." As he left Ranger's room, he muttered to no one in particular "I just hope you know what the hell you just did, you stubborn jack ass."

xxxxxx

Stephanie was sitting up in a chair when Bobby entered. He stopped inside the door and put his hands in his pants pockets, leaning against the wall.

"So, are you ready to blow this joint?"

Steph grinned. Gingerly, she moved herself to a standing position, balancing her weight on both feet. She raised her arms up like a magician's assistant and said "Ta-Da!" She then preceded to take a couple of slow steps from the chair to the side of the bed, and slowly turn around. She tried to sit but lost her balance and went down harder than intended on the side of the bed, causing her to wince and groan.

Bobby just shook his head. "Quit showing off, Steph. You're going to overdo it and wind up having to stay here."

Steph glared at him. "No way, no how, Buster. I'm about to walk myself outta here."

"Don't get all worked up. I just finished going over all of the discharge paperwork at the main desk and signed you out as your caregiver. We are just waiting for your ride."

Both turned their heads toward the door as it opened and Lester waltzed in.

"I hear someone is in need of some wheels." With a flourish, he pulled in a wheel chair and moved it so that Steph could easily climb in.

"Your golden chariot, milady."

He made an exaggerated bow in front of her, making her giggle in spite of still being pissed at him. She paused a minute and examined how she truly felt. The being pissed off portion was starting to fade but being hurt and feeling betrayed was still there, still very strong. Maybe she would talk with Lester and get some answers about why they lied to her. She just needed to decide how to go about doing it without giving away how she knew that they lied. Just needed to understand. Widening her eyes, she looked at her friends.

"Okay boys, what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

Lester paused with the wheelchair just outside of Steph's room after she was loaded in. He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"You wanna stop in and see Ranger before you go, Steph?"

Stephanie closed her eyes and sighed. In spite of feeling like she needed some distance from him in order to figure things out, she couldn't deny that she would worry endlessly if she didn't check on him before leaving. Familiar pangs started rattling around her heart, much to her chagrin.

"Yeah. Let's do this."

Steph was gently pushed into the room and up to Ranger's bedside. She tilted her head and studied him. He had the head of his bed elevated and was leaning back against it. He was bruised and banged up, but she could see everything that was visible was healing. Her eyes traveled to his face, connecting with his dark chocolate ones staring intensely back at her.

Steph felt her stomach roll with nerves and something else she wouldn't put a name to. There was just so much she wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come out. Her first instinct was to reach for his hand, but she managed to refrain. He lay there just like the stoic little boy in her dream memories that tugged at her heart strings. She smiled wanly at him. She knew she couldn't stay mad at him for long.

 _If only he knew how much he means to me, how much I love him. If only he knew how much he hurt me by doing and saying what he did. How do I make this right? Need him so much but don't know how to make it right…._

She swore she saw Ranger wince. Leaning forward, she reached out and touched his arm.

"Are you okay?"

Ranger gave her a half smile and pulled his arm back.

"Babe. I should be asking you that."

Stephanie imagined she heard him say _'I've been broken for a long time._ _The only thing that hurts is my heart, Babe. Only you can fix it…..'_

She shook her head to clear it.

 _Stupid imagination. You just want more of those dream memories, Plum._

"You didn't answer the question, Ranger. Are you okay?"

Ranger raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes. Nothing but some aches and pains. Going home tomorrow."

Steph nodded.

"I'm on my way out now." She glanced back at Bobby and scowled. "To Rangeman, whether I want to or not."

Ranger's lips thinned and his eyes wouldn't meet hers. He didn't like these damn feelings that where racing around inside. He had to get himself back in control.

"Brown, put Stephanie in an apartment on the fourth floor. Less hassle for everyone involved there. I'm tired. If you all are leaving…."

He looked up in time to catch a hint of hurt flutter across Stephanie's face. He almost capitulated. But he remembered how he imagined her voice in his head just a few moments ago saying 'If _only he knew how much he means to me, how much I love him. If only he knew how much he hurt me by doing and saying what he did. How do I make this right? Need him so much but don't know how to make it right….'_

He felt nauseated. He knew there was no way that was anything but an active imagination, but it seemed almost as real as all of those damn dreams that plagued him since the accident.

 _Damn body language. That had to be it._

No way was he allowing her back in his apartment, in his bed when he could almost hear her thinking about Morelli. He moved his hand to the bed control and lowered the head.

"You know the way out. I'll stop by tomorrow once I'm back in the building."

Ranger closed his eyes, pretending to try to sleep. He missed the two sets of eyes shooting death glares at him, and one set filling with unshed tears.

-tbc—

 _A/N: Don't kill me! I promise this is a babe story. I am going on another vacation, so there will be a bit of delay with the next posting. If you are in Myrtle Beach wave at me!_


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Character thoughts are depicted in italics. All recognizable characters belong to Janet. All recognizable mistakes and the plot line are mine. Thanks again Susan for proofing this and giving me feedback – this one was hard for me to get right. Also, thanks go out to everyone who still is following this little story of mine._

Chapter 15

"Knock, knock. You busy, Les?" Stephanie made the motions of knocking on air outside of Lester's cubicle and smiled nervously. It had taken two days for her to get her thoughts straight, then build up the courage to talk with Lester about why everyone had set her up on the fake stake out that led to her accident. Another day had passed before she was able to corner Lester to actually talk with him. She had considered talking with Ranger now that he was back in the building but that wasn't going to happen. True to form, he was like smoke and shadow with her, managing to avoid her for the past three days. She figured if she was going to maintain a productive conversation without losing her temper with anyone, it would have to be Lester so that she could understand why her friends did what they did.

Lester pushed away from his desk, spinning toward her in his computer chair. Grinning at her, he leaned back and put his hands behind his head in repose.

"I'm never too busy for you, Steph. What's up?"

Leaning her crutches against the wall of the cubicle, she paused for a moment before answering. "Well, I…. uh…. I kind of want to talk to you about the night of the accident." Steph avoided eye contact with him, suddenly becoming very interested in her thumb nail.

Lester nodded. "Okay. I told you what happened in the tree and after, but if you need to hear it again –"

"No, not that part," she interrupted. Finally looking up at him, she continued "I want to know about the before part. The stake out."

The grin Lester wore slowly disappeared as he got the gist of what Stephanie was asking him. He straightened up in his chair and reached out to take her hand, squeezing it gently.

"Why don't we go down to your apartment and talk? I think this might be better discussed somewhere more private, Beautiful."

Steph nodded and sighed. "I was afraid of that."

Once back to her apartment, she let Les in and made her way to the small sofa that was turned away from the entry, managing to minimize the limp that plagued her movements when she refused to use her crutches. "Make yourself at home," she called over her shoulder as she carefully lowered herself to sit down, trying to avoid the painful pulling of healing muscles in her injured left thigh. She heard him go into the kitchen and rattle around in the refrigerator. He came back out carrying two Cokes. Handing her one of them, he sat down next to her on the sofa and turned toward her.

Steph looked at her soda, then gave Les a half grin. "The real stuff, huh? Not diet? That doesn't bode well for what you're going to tell me if you're plying me with sugar already."

Lester's eyes twinkled momentarily. "It was worth a try."

Sobering up, he leaned forward, putting his drink on the coffee table, then propped his elbows on his knees and looked at her.

"What do you want me to tell you, Steph?"

After taking a deliberately slow drink of her Coke for some intestinal fortitude, she stared at the can in her hands.

"I know it wasn't real, Les. I had one of those dream memories about Ranger planning it. You know I can't stand it when people lie to me or manipulate me with half-truths in order to get me to do something without my knowledge. You know how important it is for me to be included in any decisions related to me." Steph paused, searching for the right words. "I want to know why you, Tank, and Ranger all lied to me. Why my friends that I trust more than anything to be honest with me weren't. Help me understand this. Can you do that?" She stared at Les intently.

Sighing, Lester ran a hand through his hair, then rubbed the back of his neck. He looked over at her.

"Just so you know, we didn't lie to you to hurt you, Steph. We were trying to help you. You might want to prop up your legs, because this is gonna take a little bit."

xxxxxx

She didn't know if she wanted to kiss them or kill them. With her eyes closed, Steph lay reclined back on her couch with her feet propped up on Les' lap. Tank, who had shown up about 10 minutes after they got to her apartment, was waiting in her recliner for her to say something. After listening to Lester and Tank explain in detail how Ranger had contacted them with the express desire to make Steph feel like she was earning the money as opposed to taking a much needed handout, it all made so much sense to her. It certainly explained the first part of that dream memory to her.

She gave a little snort of derision and shook her head. _It sure didn't explain the last part where Ranger decided for both of us that he didn't want me,_ she thought bitterly. She began to remember all of those snippets of Ranger's voice that seemed to float in and out of her mind randomly.

Steph sat up abruptly and scooted herself so that she was propped up in the corner of her couch, staring intently at Lester. Lester looked over at her and widened his eyes.

"What? We told you everything and for my part, I'm truly sorry Steph. I never meant to hurt you or for you to get hurt."

Steph shook her head and waved her hand in the air as if to dispel that idea entirely. "It's not that. I forgive you and Tank, but don't ever keep me in the dark about stuff that involves me again." She paused, trying to gather her thoughts so she didn't sound crazy. "I need to run something else by you two and as my friends, I need you to promise me you won't go blabbing it all over Rangeman."

Lester looked at her for a long moment, then narrowed his lips. "I really want to promise that to you, Beautiful. But if you want complete honesty here, if I think it's something that needs to be discussed with Bobby, I will and I want you to know it." He looked at Tank, who nodded in agreement.

"Fine. But this isn't about me, it's about Ranger. Well, it's about me but I keep dreaming and hearing Ranger." Steph shook her head and grimaced. "I'm not making myself very clear here. Let me start over and you two don't interrupt."

"I know you know that I have been having all of these dream memories since the accident. You both told me that it wasn't my imagination, that these were things that really happened in Ranger's past." Steph looked down at her hands that were clasped tightly in her lap. "I, uh, I have also thought I was imagining hearing Ranger. You know, like hearing his thoughts but he wasn't speaking. A couple of times, I wasn't in the room with him."

Tank and Lester shared a look. Tank sat up, leaning forward. "Go on, Little Girl."

Lester gently patted Steph's knee. "It's okay Steph. Just tell us and we'll talk about this. You wanna tell us what you think you're hearing?"

Steph gave a frustrated shrug of her shoulders. "Well, I heard him in my head while we were in the hospital. I heard his voice say 'my light' and 'it just can't happen'. I mean, what the hell does that even mean? And I swear I heard him when I was in the ambulance because I remember hearing sirens and thinking that I needed Ranger, then his voice said clear as day 'anything for you, Babe'. "

Tank nodded, processing this. "It could've been the start of your dream memories. You were pretty banged up, Little Girl. It could've been your imagination or from the trauma your body experienced."

Steph shook her head. "I really thought so too, Tank. But I keep hearing him – snatches of his voice in my head at random times. I'm not sleeping or tired or medicated when this happens. I feel like I'm losing my mind here, because if I were imagining it, I sure the hell wouldn't imagine hearing him tell me he needs me and that I'm the only one who can fix him only to push away from me and leave me with a broken heart."

Realizing what she just said, she groaned in embarrassment and covered her face. "Well this is just craptastic. I didn't mean to tell you all that."

Gaining the courage to uncover her eyes and look at her friends' response to her confession, she was surprised to see both men looking at her with compassion, understanding, and…sympathy? Yep, definitely sympathy.

 _Well, that's not good._

Tank stood up and started pacing. He stopped in front of Steph and looked down at her. "Steph, I've known Ranger for a long time. We've been through some serious shit together. Never, in all the time that I have known him has he let any woman, including family, into his life like he has you. I know he has feelings for you, but even I won't speculate on what those feelings are. He's all messed up inside and he thinks he's broken."

Steph pulled back as if someone had physically slapped her.

"I heard him - I mean his voice in my head - say that. He said he's been broken for a long time. And I'm the only one who could fix him. It was the day I went home from the hospital, when Lester took me to see him. But then why is he pulling away from me? Guys, I can _feel_ what he is feeling, not just thinking."

Lester reached over and gently wiped a tear from Steph's cheek that escaped. He looked at the anguish in her face and decided to take the metaphorical bull by the horns.

"Steph, I have to ask you a question and I need an honest answer here. Are you in love with my cousin?"

Stephanie wiped at the tears that were flowing freely down her face now. Putting her fingers to her lips to try to keep from sobbing, she gave up trying to hide her feelings to her friends.

"Yes, I have been for a long time," she whispered through her tears. "But it doesn't matter. He doesn't want me or anything I have to offer, based on what I felt in those damn dream memories and floating Ranger voices."

She gave both Tank and Lester a pleading look. "Guys, you can't tell him. You can't tell anyone. Promise me." Her voice took on a frantic tone. "Promise right here, right now. This stays between us three."

Tank walked over to where Steph was on the couch, gently picked her up and sat her in the middle section so that he could sit on one side of her while Lester sat on the other side. Each took one of her hands.

"I promise."

"I promise too, Steph."

Lester cleared his throat and looked around Steph at Tank, then back at her sheepishly. "I think we kinda knew that already, Steph. But what about Morelli?"

A look of utter disgust settled on her features. "Morelli is a douche bag. I stayed with him at first because we were friends and I didn't want to be alone and well, no one else wanted me. I was meaning to break it off with him again but the accident happened. We had a bit of a disagreement at Pino's a couple of months ago and I haven't trusted that jerk-faced skid mark on New Jersey's underwear ever since!"

Lester mouthed 'jerk-faced skid mark', shook his head and grinned.

Tank's eyebrows shot up to the top of his forehead. "What the hell did he do?"

Steph bit her bottom lip, preparing for the fall out. "He tried to force himself on me in the parking lot." Feeling both men tense up with anger on each side of her, she quickly added "But I handled it gentlemen. The Morelli family jewels took a direct hit from my knee. Matter of fact, I don't think I've seen him since, but I remember hearing him in my hospital room and boy was he still bitter. The sleezebag decided that he needed to break up with me because I wasn't meeting his needs, then had the nerve to hit on some nurse."

Steph looked down at her lap again, avoiding eye contact with her friends. "It hurt at first, you know. I thought that even though we weren't going to make it as a couple, he was still my friend. But friends don't do shit like that. I say good riddance."

Trying to hold back a smile from her colorful description of Morelli, Lester gently squeezed her hand, then stood up and motioned for Tank to join him.

"Well, now that's all cleared up, I guess we should leave you alone and let you rest."

"But, what about my problem, guys? You never said what you thought or gave me any suggestions on what to do about it. I need some guidance here."

Tank stood up, bent down and hugged Steph, then squatted down in front of her. "Little girl, you need to trust your instincts on this one. I believe you. I think that somehow, this weird-assed connection that you and Ranger have has been magnified, like a million times. I don't doubt what you're feeling or hearing for an instant but remember, we don't know if he is experiencing the same things you are. He hasn't said anything and he doesn't like to talk about feelings and shit in general."

Letting themselves out of her apartment, they waited until they heard her move on into her bedroom before they walked toward the elevator.

Wordlessly both men looked at each other and nodded, silently agreeing that this powder keg was going to blow up real soon.

 _-tbc-_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: Character thoughts are depicted in italics. All recognizable characters belong to Janet. All recognizable mistakes and the plot line are mine. Thanks again Susan for proofing this and giving me feedback. Also, thanks go out to everyone who still is following this little story of mine._

Chapter 16

"Oh my God, just kill me now and save me the misery!"

Stephanie flopped backward on the floor mat in the gym and gave a big huff of exhaustion. After a week of being back at Rangeman under the care of Bobby and his sadistic physical therapy sessions, she was convinced she would be better off if she just died a quiet death.

"A donut. Please, just one, Bobby. I won't even eat it, just lick the glaze off. Argh…..." she whined.

When she didn't get any response, she rolled over on her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows. She gazed up at him and gave him her best puppy dog eyes.

Bobby stood looking down at her, feet apart and arms crossed over his chest with a hint of amusement on his face. He held out a hand to her and helped her to her feet. Keeping his hand loosely on her forearm, he guided her over to a nearby bench.

"You're really progressing well Steph. I know your muscles are sore, but you've regained a lot of movement back in your bad leg. You still have some work ahead of you though. I do need to take a peek at the scar tissue there before we wrap this up, just to make sure it isn't drawing up too tight. Once that's done, I left you a surprise in your kitchen."

Without hesitation, Steph stood up and pulled up the leg of her running shorts, exposing the scarred area on her thigh. As Bobby carefully examined the puckered red scar tissue, the door to the gym slammed open into the wall, causing Steph to jump. Looking up, she was taken aback to see Ranger looming in the doorway, radiating anger and much to her surprise, jealousy in waves. Her eyes traveled up and down his body, taking in his clenched fists and aggressive stance of his body. She couldn't help but appreciate how wonderful he looked in his short-sleeved black t-shirt and basketball shorts.

 _Mine, dammit, she's mine!_ Invaded her thoughts, making her take an involuntary step away from Bobby.

Bobby looked up at Ranger and nodded at him, oblivious to how close he was to bodily harm at the moment. "Bossman, glad to see you on time for your therapy session. I'm just finishing up with Stephanie here and then we'll start. Why don't you do the warm up exercises for your shoulders while I finish inspecting Steph's wound. I need to get her something to keep the scar tissue soft so it won't affect her movements."

Steph felt Ranger's anger deflate. She wanted to break down in tears when she felt a distancing wall of resignation emanate from him instead. She could feel him purposely pulling away from her. He paused for a moment intentionally not looking or talking to her, then made his way over to the weight racks to start his warm up.

She gingerly made her way over to the weight machine, standing directly in Ranger's line of vision. Trying to make eye contact with him, she smiled and gave a little finger wave. With a will of their own, her eyes traveled to the lacy scar that snaked out from under the sleeve of his shirt and curled its way down his biceps.

"Hey stranger, long time no see. I was wondering if I was ever going to run into you again."

Ranger glanced up at Steph's face so fast she almost missed it. Never breaking the fluid movements of the repetitive warm up exercise, he gritted his teeth and looked down at his hands tightly gripping the weights and grunted at her in acknowledgement.

"That's it? A freaking grunt?" Steph could feel her ire rising. "I haven't talked to you since the accident and that's all you can manage?" Her voice became laced with caring concern. "I've been worried about you, Ranger. How are you doing?" She watched him tense up even more and swallowed hard.

 _Okay Plum._

 _Time to take this Cuban bull by the horns._

"Have I done something to upset you? I miss you, miss talking to you." Ranger paused momentarily in his routine, then quickly resumed it. "I'm fine Stephanie. Just busy." He looked up at her and raised his eyebrow. "If you'll excuse me now?"

Steph bit her lip in irritated frustration and looked away, shaking her head. _Oooookay then. So we're back to Stephanie, instead of Babe. Well doesn't this just blow?_ "Fine. Whatever you say."

She turned her back to Ranger, slowly making her way out the door and to the elevator. That was it. She was fed up with this hot and cold crap from Ranger. For the last week, he had purposely distanced himself from her physically, but that didn't stop her from being surrounded by Ranger's emotions almost nonstop. The dreams and thoughts were still there, but nowhere as revealing as to what was going on with him. She was so confused. There were moments when she could feel his love and definitely lust. But it would be followed by jealousy, anger and almost an angsty sensation. She could feel his hurt, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out why he would feel like that. She could feel his forced indifference and then it would start all over again. That just pissed her off again, making her head spin and the bottom of her stomach drop out.

 _Yep. Time to get off that emotional roller coaster ride._

As she exited the elevator on the fourth floor, she silently argued with herself about what to do. Her stomach was unsettled from all of the turbulent feelings she was trying to deal with – whatever Bobby had waiting for her in the kitchen would have to wait. Letting herself into the fourth floor apartment, she quickly decided a hot shower would hopefully help figure out how to fix this situation she found herself in with Ranger, since he obviously was not going to offer up any solutions.

She stripped out of her clothes and turned on the shower. She turned toward the large mirror over the vanity and for the first time, really let herself look over her body post-accident. She cocked her head to the side as her eyes slowly roamed her upper body. The scrapes and bruises on her arms were faded to the point of almost being gone.

She closed her eyes momentarily to channel some inner strength, then focused with intent on her new scars that marked her chest. She took her hand and gently traced the dark red lace-like pattern of the lightning flower that started just over her left breast and vined over and down her left shoulder and upper arm. Reversing the movement, she ran the tips of her fingers back towards her breast, following the delicate lines and swirls in the pattern.

 _Huh. That spot looks like a twisted tear drop, almost. It would be more appropriate if it looked like a broken heart_ , she thought grimly.

As she continued to lightly trail the vining swirls, she became aware of a slight increase in the tingling, throbbing sensation traveling up and down along the scar's pathway. It felt almost pleasurable, almost like the tingle at the back of her neck she felt when Ranger was near.

She shook her head to clear it. _And that's your cue to get in the shower. Might be time to check out the shower massager's water pressure._

The mirrors were almost steamed up at this point. Steph carefully climbed into the shower and let the warm water envelope her. She turned slowly, wetting her hair down then turned to face the shower head and let the water gently caress her front.

It was too much. The ache in her chest bubbled up until it felt like her heart would burst – for him, for herself, for what could be if they could just get there. Tears welled up and started to slide down her cheeks. Wrapping her arms around her middle, she turned her face up into the steady stream to wash them away. She wanted to give up and quit. She wanted to run away from this.

 _No. Not anymore. Time to grow a backbone and deal with this, Plum._

She squared her shoulders in determination. She rinsed off, then wrapped herself in a soft fluffy towel before making her way to the bedroom. She lay down in her thinking position, arms spread out to the side, legs dangling over the edge. She decided to do something she hadn't had the courage to do before now, but the high stakes involved now forced her hand. Closing her eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths, she opened her mind up and actively sought out Ranger's.

-tbc-

A/N: I wanted to let everyone know that my fall session has resumed, plus my oldest is getting married in 4 months so my time is not my own at the moment. This means the chapters will be spaced out a bit farther apart. Next, we will hear from Ranger.


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: All character thoughts are in italic. JE owns the characters, but the plot and any mistakes are mine alone. Thanks again to Susan for proofing this. And thanks to everyone that continues to read._

Chapter 17

Sweat ran in rivulets down Ranger's face, blurring his vision and stinging his eyes, but he didn't give a damn about his own discomforts. He continued to push himself physically beyond the limits of what his body was ready for because that was the only way he could block out all of the emotional turmoil boiling up inside him. He silently gave thanks that Bobby wasn't in the gym at the moment to ground his ass for doing this.

Thump. Thump thump. Thump. Thump thump.

He tried to lose himself in the rhythmic pounding of his flesh meeting the punching bag. The pain that jarred his healing shoulder and thigh with every forceful jab numbed his racing mind and reminded him of other activities where his body repeatedly slammed into another object that provided the same numbing feeling.

He let his mind drift to what seemed like a lifetime ago for him. The nameless faceless bodies, sometimes more than one at a time, tangled together, sweating and straining against each other. The release was the common goal, but his release wasn't sexually motivated. It was to escape the demons that constantly threatened to pull him back to the black abyss where he belonged. He smirked to himself, thinking that he still made sure everyone involved was completely satisfied. But, no hanging around for the emotional shit. Hell, he mastered the silent stealthy extrications so there would be no long term entanglements, keeping it simple just like he preferred. That made him pause and blink.

 _Fuck. Like I used to prefer._

He paused for a just a bit too long mulling that over. The punching bag's momentum caught Ranger with full force in his chest and face, knocking him off his feet flat on his back. Dazed, he stared at the gym's ceiling as he lay there panting, trying to catch his breath.

 _Poetic justice, Manoso. Got knocked on your ass punching the bag you're using to replace dealing with Stephanie._

Ranger lay spread-eagle on the floor and closed his eyes. If he was honest with himself, he would admit to being confused as hell. He would admit to being frustrated and unsure of himself. He would even admit to not being in control of the situation. That forced him to take a big dry swallow to push down the blossoming sense of unease that stemmed from acknowledging his vulnerability.

 _Time to fall back, soldier._

It was time to go back behind his internal walls. His heart may still be beating in his chest, but it had stopped working a long time ago. It saved him so many headaches, and if he was honest with himself some heartaches too. Yet, Stephanie managed to breach every barrier and wall he had in place and did the impossible.

She made him feel.

If he were anyone else, he would have run like he had the hounds of Hell on his heels. And he did try, too. At first he fought his attraction to her tooth and nail. He pushed her away every time she got too close. He drew that line in the sand at the beginning with her, when he realized how easy it would be to let her into his heart. He could still hear himself feed her that line of bullshit about condoms and rings. He encouraged her to go back to that Italian prick every chance he got. Not being a glutton for punishment, she caught his hints and actually listened in that regard.

He should be happy.

He should be _fucking ecstatic_ she wanted Morelli instead of him.

Truth was, he felt like a bomb got dropped on him. Ranger's stomach clinched remembering that strange dream he had while in the hospital. Pain lanced through him as he remembered how real Stephanie's anger and hurt was when she heard Morelli break up with her and then walk out of the room. Those dreams might mean he was crazy, but no one could accuse him of being stupid either. He knew without a doubt that was his subconsciousness telling him she would go back to Morelli again, in spite of anything he did to her. If she did, then without a doubt she wouldn't stick around putting up with the bullshit Ranger kept flinging at her. Experience was the best teacher of all and spoke to him loudly. Everyone else never bothered to stick around, so why would Steph be the exception? Yep, best to call a retreat and regroup.

But he didn't know if he could go on without her in his life.

He would admit that he was more than a little attached to Stephanie Plum and didn't know what to do about it.

 _Double fuck_.

He let himself think back to all of the times in his past where allowing himself to care did nothing more than cut him to the emotional quick. His stomach soured thinking about being picked on as a child. The women he made the mistake of getting too close to – Anita, Rachel, his sisters, his mother - ran through his mind while he methodically cataloged each insult and hurt that he kept locked up in a compartment deep inside himself. His father's emotional distance and ultimate abandonment caused a lump to form in his throat.

He thought of his missions and the training to survive. He learned early on that to show emotional vulnerability made you weak. In his world, weak equaled dead. Yet, here he was, lying on the floor of his gym trying to figure out how he got himself into this situation.

Stephanie drifted over his mind again. He envisioned her face and flushed cheeks. Her eyes were like beacons to him, pulling him to her like steel to a magnet. Warmth spread through him as he remembered how whatever she was thinking or feeling reflected through those sparkling blue pools. Her smile that chased away the demons from his lonely soul. He mentally travelled down her body, remembering the feel and lushness of her curves.

A strange pleasurable tingling sensation began to pulsate along his scars left from the lightning strike on his arm and chest, ebbing and flowing from the comma-shaped point over his heart. He reached over and lightly stroked his fingers over the scar's pathway, surprised when it caused the pleasure to increase and spread warmth throughout him.

 _Crazy. I'm going crazy. I swear it feels like she's stroking my arm and chest. I can almost smell her shampoo._

" _Ahem_ …. Cough, Cough. Dude. You do realize you're spread out on the floor feeling yourself up in full view of all the video feeds, right?"

Cursing himself for his lack of awareness, Ranger jumped up like he had been burned and turned a glowering stare at his cousin who was lounging against the inside of the gym door. He slowly started toward the exit.

"Not now, Santos. I'm not in the mood."

Lester snorted and pointedly looked down at Ranger's tented shorts. "That's not the impression I'm getting from here, Cuz."

Not bothering to acknowledge the truth behind that little dig, Ranger limped past Lester, pushing him out of the way in the process, making his way determinedly to the elevator. He leaned his head against the steel door of the elevator while waiting for it to open as he tried not to let Lester's bark of laugher piss him off further. He breathed in the faint lemony smell from the cleaner Ella used to keep the doors mirror-like and tried to force himself to relax.

He felt a gentle fluttering around his head. Entering the open stainless steel doors and punching the button for seven rather harshly, he mentally shook it off as another crazy thing his mind imagined. Ranger rolled his head from side to side trying to stretch his taut muscles. Dropping his head to his chest, he allowed himself the luxury of letting out a heavy sigh.

The fluttering was back, but it was _in_ his head. He jerked his head up and pressed his open palms to both temples as if to make it stop. The foreign sensation continued, ruffling around his mind, and then traveled south to settle over his chest.

His whole body became flooded with such an overwhelming onslaught of need and want. Waves of love and desire almost made him feel like he was drowning in them. If he were a lesser man, it would have brought him to his knees. The fluttering danced back up into his head, and now he felt an emotional blast of…. anger? Yes, that was most definitely anger, even though it was laced still with those earlier emotions. He closed his eyes trying to block it all out, only to be jarred by a familiar voice racing around in his head.

 _…Ranger!_

 _…...Ricardo Carlos Manoso!_

 _…...Hey! Are you listening to me!?_

He had officially lost his shit. He fisted his hair in his hands and shook his head to clear it. He could feel his heart rate jump up as his anxiety ratcheted out of the roof. They would lock him up over this, he was positive. The straight jacket, the padded room, the whole nine yards – he would get the deluxe package.

Exasperated with himself, he couldn't understand why this was happening now. If he were going to lose his mind, it should have happened years ago when the government owned him. The voices should have been of his ghosts from the nameless men and women whose dead eyes stared blindly up at him after he successfully completed his missions. He shouldn't be hearing Stephanie haunt him.

 _…Get your Cuban head out of your ass, Ranger. I am not a freaking ghost. You need to go to four right now and come to my apartment._

His finger hovered uncertainly for a moment over the floor buttons as they took turns lighting up – 1st floor, now second floor. Not fully believing he was actually doing this, he jabbed 4 just as the 3rd floor lit up. The elevator doors smoothly slid open, but he hesitated to get off on the fourth floor. He wasn't exactly sure what he was waiting for. Shrugging off his unease, he exited and tried to quietly make his way towards the apartment where Stephanie was staying.

He stood outside of her door, vacillating over what to do. Convincing himself he would just be showing her his weakness by admitting something was wrong with him, he turned around to go back to the elevator. He felt the fluttering again, but it wrapped itself around him as if to keep him where he was.

 _…...You need to come inside. The door's open. If you want the answer to what's happening to you, it's in here._

Ranger figured it could go one of two ways. Either he would enter Steph's apartment, scare the Hell out of her and get tossed out, or he would go in and get the shock of his life.

Facing her door again, he squared his shoulders and tried to calm his mind to center himself. He twisted the handle to her door, and it clicked right open to his astonishment. He swung the door slowly open, and took a couple of slow steps quietly inside so that he stood in front of her sofa. Turning toward her bedroom, he couldn't mask the shock from his face as he saw Stephanie wrapped in a towel, arms crossed over her chest looking like his personal pissed off avenging angel with a halo of unruly brown curls and glaring eyes leveled on him.

Ranger slowly sat down so that Stephanie wouldn't realize how close he was to having his legs go out from under him due to shock that she really was waiting on him. It just wasn't plausible that he actually could hear her without her talking.

He finally understood one of Steph's basic personality traits – when it got too tough to deal with then deny, deny, deny. That, he decided, was exactly what he would do right now. Trying to look casual in order to mask how close he was to losing it, he leaned back and stretched his arms across the back of the sofa. Schooling his face into a mask of indifference, he quirked a questioning eyebrow up at her.

Steph narrowed her eyes at him and stood in place.

 _You and I are going to have a discussion to beat all discussions, Mister._

Ranger's eyes widened. The mask of indifference cracked and fell away. He leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees.

"Babe? What the Hell is going on here?"

-tbc-

 _A/N: I want to thank each and every person that has left such nice reviews for Sparking of Insight. I do try to respond back as I can, and you all don't know how much you have continued to motivate me. For the guests that read and comment, I have no way to respond back, so from the bottom of my heart…thank you so much!_


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: All character thoughts are in italics. Janet E. owns all recognizable characters, but the plot line and mistakes are mine alone. Thanks again to Susan for proofing this for me and giving me great feedback, and thank you to all who continue to read my little story._

Chapter 18

Stephanie's eyes popped open in astonishment and she sat up on the bed, putting her hand to her mouth in wonderment.

 _I did it. It freaking worked. Holy cow, Batman!_

Readjusting her towel so that it covered her breasts after slipping down from rapidly sitting up, she tried to process what just happened. She wasn't sure exactly how she managed it, but she had just consciously tapped into Ranger's emotions and thoughts. She suspected it was driven by the high emotional state she was in, but couldn't be sure. When it came to him, she wasn't sure of anything.

 _Scratch that_.

One thing she now was sure of was that not everything was as it appeared to be with Carlos Manoso when it came to how he felt about her.

She mulled over what she picked up from him before she pulled herself back mentally from the surprise of being able to connect with Ranger.

He had feelings for her.

Strong feelings, based on what she felt before she backed out of his head. Encouraged by this, she took a deep breath for fortitude and lay back down on her bed. Squirming around to get comfortable, she shut her eyes and reached out again, her heart buoyed with hope. She imagined herself reaching out to him, arms outstretched, flying about with her eyes closed. Sensing him, she pictured herself gently running her hands through his hair, then putting her forehead against his as she ran her hands down to his chest and laid them over his heart.

She could feel the strength of his desire for her to the point it shocked her. It shouldn't though, since he made no bones about the fact he was very willing to share his body with her.

 _Let's see why he won't share the rest of himself with me. What else don't I know?_

Emboldened, she focused harder and dove a little deeper past that. Here, she was enveloped with an overwhelming sense of love for her that she could tell he was trying to keep contained and compartmentalized. Basking in her discovery, she marveled how it felt like she was swaddled in pure white happy energy when she connected with this part of Ranger.

 _Huh. He loves me. This must be what it feels like to love with your whole soul._

Not able to help it, she smiled and sighed. She decided to delve a little deeper and got a big surprise she didn't expect.

He loved her alright, but he sure wasn't happy about it. She could feel his anger. His ambivalence. She caught glimpses of memories of how he purposely pushed her away, how he distanced himself from her. Steph's heart clinched in pain as snippets of his self-doubt, confusion and - -

 _What the Hell?_

Self-loathing. Yep, that was definitely there. Not able to control herself, she snorted in derision. She caught how he felt his soul was black, how he thought he would suck the goodness out of her. From all of the glimpses into his memories she had, she knew what he was capable of and what he had done. But he didn't do it without reason. His moral code was stronger than anyone else's. More snippets came at her, with these revelations thoroughly pissing her off. She saw glimpses of things he did that made him feel like that. Worse yet, she saw everything he did to convince himself he didn't need or deserve her.

Steph tried to keep calm, she really did. She thought of butterflies. She thought about pineapple upside-down cake. Nothing worked. That meant she had only one recourse left.

It was time to beard the dragon.

 _Nope. No bearding. Time to put my foot up his dragon ass. Maybe it will dislodge his head._

Not caring that she was still in her damp towel from her earlier shower with her hair resembling a chia pet or that she probably had mascara smudged under her eyes, she stomped/limped over to her bedroom door and stared intently at the entry door to her apartment. She could feel his hesitation and disbelief, which drove her anger higher. She willed Ranger's sorry ass to come to her apartment.

Steph didn't count on the fact that Ranger had no idea this new connection or whatever it was, existed between them. Still maintaining the mental connection with him, she was a little taken aback at how he thought he was hearing things. However, it wasn't enough to calm her anger by any means.

She felt him slowly make his way to her apartment. The connection she had with him grew stronger the closer he got. With minimal effort this time, she reached out mentally again to him, dangling answers to him as an incentive. Hearing the door knob turn, she crossed her arms over her chest and focused a glare at the opening door.

As Steph watched Ranger slowly enter her apartment like he belonged there, then arch an eyebrow at her as he casually sat down and reclined back on her couch, her anger went from ballistic to erupting volcano in nanoseconds. She ached to smack the smug confidence off his face, when she could feel how unsettled he was. Instead, she did the one thing she knew would rattle him. She narrowed her eyes at his and projected her thoughts to him.

 _You and I are going to have a discussion to beat all discussions, Mister._

Satisfaction washed over her as Ranger's surprise and uncertainty flooded her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He heard her voice clearly say they were going to have a discussion to beat all discussions, yet he knew he didn't see her mouth move. Ranger wanted to give in to that little part of himself he kept locked down that wanted to show weakness, wanted to panic.

 _Hold the line, soldier._

He couldn't control the surprise he felt. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and willed his hands to stop sweating.

"Babe? What the Hell is going on here?"

Her face a mask of indignation, Stephanie made her way out into the small living area and stood across from where Ranger sat. She silently glared down at him for a few beats, her arms crossed over her chest as if to protect herself.

"I could ask the very same thing to you. What the Hell is wrong with you?"

Steph stopped, gave her head a small shake and turned her head to look away from him. She held up one hand as if to stop him. Unable to help it, bitterness laced her voice.

"No, no. You don't have to answer that one. I already know."

Ranger was lost, but that happened occasionally with Steph when he tried to follow her thought processes. He tried his best to maintain a calm neutral demeanor.

"What do you think you know, Stephanie? Care to share?"

She turned her head back at him, then tipped it to the side.

"I know everything, Ranger. _Everything._ "

Taking a step toward him, she put her hands on her hips. Ranger couldn't help but be mesmerized by the storms brewing in her eyes. He swore he could almost feel her anger and frustration.

Pausing for a beat, Steph straightened her head up and gave him a look of mock concern mixed with condescension. She knew she should react like an adult, but she felt very childish right now. Instead of throwing a screaming temper tantrum like she wanted to, the anger-induced sarcasm erupted from her in waves.

"Oh, poor baby. You're confused right now. It really sucks when someone knows something important but doesn't share it with you, doesn't it?" Steph stuck out her bottom lip for emphasis and waited for him to reply.

Not receiving one, she narrowed her eyes at Ranger.

"Fine. I promised an explanation as a part of our discussion, so here it is. Apparently, something happened during our little accident in the oak tree that made us able to connect with each other. I knew something was up in the hospital, but wasn't sure until right before I was sent home. When I dream, I somehow get pulled into your head and have to live through your memories, which really sucks at times by the way. I feel what you felt, see what you saw…... the whole nine yards Ranger. And that's not the end of it. I figured out that if I am anywhere near you, I can feel your emotions and catch glimpses of what you're doing as it happens."

Steph paused again to collect herself, trying to keep it together.

"And after this morning in the gym, I figured out how to seek you out and can hear your thoughts. Since you're here on my couch, I guess I was successful in figuring out how to project my thoughts to you too."

Ranger remained silent in order to process this information. Stephanie wasn't one to make stuff up and clearly she believed what she said. The military strategist part of him just couldn't buy into it. It defied logic. But still…. he had those disturbing dreams while he was in the hospital. They were so real….

Just like she said she had of him.

He closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing regular. If what she said was in fact the truth, exactly how much of his thoughts and feelings did she tap into? And his memories…...

 _Fuuuuuuck._

Stephanie gave him a sad look, then sighed.

"I told you already. Everything."

She limped back to her bedroom door and leaned against the doorframe. Her eyes became bright with unshed tears.

"In all my life I never thought I would be wrong about you of all people. You aren't the big brave ex-military bounty hunter you want everyone to think you are."

Ranger slowly rose to standing and clenched his jaw. Her opinion mattered to him more than he ever imagined it would.

"Then what exactly am I, in your opinion?"

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back against the door trim as tears trickled down her cheeks, slowly dropping on the top portions of her breasts before being absorbed into her towel.

"A coward, Ranger. A big bastard of a coward."

She opened her eyes and stared straight at him, concentrating. He plainly heard her in his head.

 _At least you are with your heart._

Stephanie straightened up and turned her back to him to go back into her bedroom. Not bothering to turn around, she added, "I know you need time to process this. Go ahead and do it. But while you're trying to figure out if I'm nuts or not, you might want to try to do what I did, and reach out to me. You might get the shock of your life with what you discover. But then again, maybe you won't."

Walking into her room, she shut and locked the door behind her, leaving Ranger wondering what just happened. Too tired to get up and leave, he slouched down on her couch and did exactly what she told him to do. He closed his eyes and focused on blue eyes and soft brown curls.

-tbc-


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: All character thoughts are in italics. Janet E. owns all recognizable characters, but the plot line and mistakes are mine alone. Thanks again to Susan for proofing this for me. For everyone that continues to wait patiently for me to churn out the next installment and send me encouraging messages I thank you so much! This chapter is a little bit shorter than some of the others, but I needed to end where I did so that the next chapter flows better. I think this story is close to wrapping up, and I will be taking a bit of a break but I foresee other stories evolving from this one in the future – I am having way too much fun with this._

Chapter 19

Ranger was drifting in bleak darkness. Sighing inwardly, he felt adrift in uncharted territory. Each aspect of his carefully crafted life that he meticulously built created a solo lifestyle that for so long suited his needs and him. He never before had to worry about being left behind because he was the one that left first, or never stuck around to begin with. No abandonment issues. No broken hearts. No emotions to deal with.

Or so he thought.

He realized that for the first time in his life he wanted more than this lonely existence he spent all of his time and energy living. He just wasn't sure he knew how to do it.

He wanted so desperately to believe he was capable of what Stephanie said he was, but nothing in his life ever was that simple or easy. Normally, he sought solace by going back to his life that revolved around his business interests but that rigid machine-like living didn't feel very comforting to him anymore. He heard her words from earlier and had to agree with her. He was a bastard of a coward _especially_ when it came to matters of his heart. He never backed down from a challenge in any aspect of his life, and that made him frown.

 _Get it together, man. Quit treating this like one of your missions._

Frustration tried to take hold as it felt like he walked that fine line between being awake and being asleep. He schooled his breathing, practicing the square window technique he picked up on one of his covert missions that had him crossing paths with a Hindu priest.

 _Breathe in, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2 ,3 ,4 breathe out 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4…._

The frustrations gradually left him and he felt lighter. He focused again on big blue eyes and soft brown curls. He could feel himself pulled toward Stephanie, although a hint of skepticism made him wonder if it was just his wishful thinking. The pure joy and light that came from within her became his beacon. It chased away the gray and black ugliness that weighed him down and stained his soul. He pictured himself reaching out to her, floating across the room and hovering just inside her bedroom.

Tensing in surprise, he felt those now familiar flutters tentatively extending themselves toward him, meeting and melding with his. He could _feel_ her. He just managed to keep his jaw from dropping in wonder. As it was, he swore his heart skipped a few beats in excitement when Stephanie mentally interlaced herself with him as if she laced their fingers together when holding hands.

 _Frustration. Anger. Sadness._

He became buffeted with these emotions, but a small niggling voice in the back of his head wondered if he _really_ felt them because that's what he just witnessed her feeling or because that was what she was currently still feeling. Her words gently caressed his mind, silencing his own inner voice.

 _Just relax, Ranger. Just…. feel._

Trust was something that Ranger had difficulty with ever since he was small, even with those he considered part of his inner circle. Steph was definitely in his inner circle and if he was truthful with himself, most likely his epicenter. He knew he repeatedly asked for her blind trust, but to be placed in the position of giving it was not a role he had much success with. However, for her he would try. Taking a big dry swallow, he forced his mind to do just what she asked and relaxed his guard as much as he was capable of. Going beyond those surface emotions, she guided him deeper.

He became enveloped in light. The strongest, purest waves of love gently washed over him, infusing him with a sensation he had never experienced. He mentally harrumphed at that because he never expected to be worthy of experiencing this. He was bowled over, completely humbled at how it buoyed his soul and made the blackness start to disappear. His next knee-jerk reaction was to try to pull back, since he was not deserving of this, of her. He would not taint her and dim this light.

He felt just how much inner strength she possessed at that moment. That was a new revelation - he had completely underestimated her in that regard. She refused to let him pull back, instead pulling him deeper yet into her own mind.

A mental slide show began flashing snatches and glimpses of what she thought and felt. His stomach clenched, preparing for the truth about her feelings for Morelli to surface. She might have just confirmed she loved Ranger but even he knew there were all kinds of love. An unfamiliar sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach began to build as it dawned on him that he really didn't want to feel how much more intense her feelings were for that Italian loser. However badly he wanted to shut it all out he couldn't. His attention was snared.

He saw himself through her eyes the first time they met at the diner. He felt her curiosity and interest for him then. The picture changed to her perspective of him as he came in to uncuff her from her shower. He had to smile at that. Apparently it wasn't just the cold that caused her nipples to stand at attention that night when she saw him come into her bathroom.

He saw himself as she saw him. Strong. Capable. Gruff. Control freak. Devoted. Honor bound. Secretive. The words _white night with tarnished and damaged armor_ flitted across his mind. He was having a hard time at this point accepting that she saw inside the façade he presented to everyone and accepted the real him, faults and all. Many more glimpses of time spent on stake outs revealed her growing interest in him as not only a good friend but as a man she looked up to and would do anything for in spite of seeing inside of him.

 _Unwavering respect, no matter what._

She showed him the moment that things changed for her regarding who had her heart. This was absolutely not what he expected. He caught the emotional ups and downs with Morelli in there. Ranger felt her confusion with her emotions as she tried to decide which man to give her heart to. Felt her ambivalence and then regret when she realized her heart didn't agree with her head's decision. Felt how in shock she was the morning after the most amazing night of Ranger's life and apparently hers too, when she realized the depths to which she loved him. He got a first row seat with 3D glasses to witness how it almost broke her when he pushed her away and downplayed that night's significance to him. Ranger uncharacteristically gulped and shifted himself in an attempt to ease the discomfort from the shame he felt for putting her through that.

When things flashed forward to let him feel her sad resolve to accept Morelli's attentions because she figured she would never have him, Ranger felt his stomach clinch. The subtle and not so subtle degradations she endured that Morelli and her mother threw at her made him realize this woman was forged of a steel stronger than many soldiers he had served with. And through it all, he was amazed that he still felt the love and acceptance she held in her heart.

It was for him. Just him.

Not Morelli.

He was pulled into her recent thoughts and emotions. He was forced to see and feel from her perspective not just the horrible one sided monologue Morelli delivered in Steph's room as she lay in a coma, but now he felt her sadness at losing a friend. A friend, not her love. What he failed to pick up before was the resounding anger and relief that rolled through her as Morelli left her room. The sadness he picked up on before wasn't because Steph felt rejected, it was because she couldn't get up and knee him in his balls.

He let that sudden insight envelope him. Smiling, he realized now just what a gift he—no, they had been given. Ranger could still feel their connection. He suspected that now he freely accepted and acknowledged this bond of theirs, whatever it was, he would never be able to or want to sever it. There was one more thing he had yet to try. He took a deep breath in.

 _Babe? Steph?_

He felt Stephanie become more attentive, but didn't hear her voice as he had earlier.

 _Stephanie, I'm sorry. I agree with you – I think it's time we really talk._

He felt those soft flutters skitter across his cheeks, down to the area in his chest where his heart was, then back up to gently caress his head. He sighed in relief when he heard her soft dulcet voice invade his thoughts.

 _The door's always been unlocked where you're concerned Ranger. Are you ready to open it and come to me?_

Making sure to keep the mental connection intact, Ranger smiled his classic 1000-watt smile and opened his eyes.

 _Ready or not Babe, here I come._

He slowly stood and glanced at Stephanie's bedroom door, then made his way toward it with determination in every step he took.

xxxxxxx

 _-tbc-_

 _AN: I think there will be one more chapter after this one and that will end this story. Thanks again to everyone in advance for reading, reviewing, and offering encouragement. You all will never know how much that means to me._


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: All character thoughts are in italics. Janet E. owns all recognizable characters, but the plot line and mistakes are mine alone. Wow. The last chapter of my first long story. Thanks to everyone who patiently waited for my chaotic life to level out so that my muse could come out from hiding and give us all some closure. A big thanks goes to Susan for proofing and gently encouraging me. I have so much respect for all authors that are able to consistently churn out wonderful stories while juggling jobs and life! Without further ado…..._

xxxxxxx

Chapter 20

Stephanie heard the door lock click behind her and the soft rattle of the door knob turn as she lay on her side facing away from the bedroom door. She knew she locked the stupid thing but that had never been an effective barrier in the past and apparently it still wasn't.

…. _Master key, babe. It is my building…..._

Closing her eyes, she tried to mentally calm herself in order to prepare for whatever was going to happen. She knew it could go either way and so much was on the line for her, and for Ranger whether he realized it or not. She drew in a deep breath and let out a long drawn-out sigh. It was a small consolation to her that he now accepted this newfound connection, whatever it was. However, she had too much riding on this to settle for a consolation prize.

Remembering what happened with this connection halted the direction of her thoughts. She scrunched her eyes tight trying to block him from picking up on them. She thought of Macy's. She pictured Grandma Mazur in her clearance bikini. She mentally hummed her ABC's. She imagined a warm apple pie straight from the oven with vanilla ice cream dolloped on top. Images flooded her mind.

Ranger stopped next to the bed and looked down at Stephanie's back. The pure love and joy he felt from her while he was in the living room fueled his bravery to pursue her. He loved her, God help him but still wondered if letting her in was the right thing to do. There was just so much ugliness inside him – he was still afraid he would overwhelm her and destroy her. That he couldn't live with.

He reached down to softly stroke the curve of her hip and felt an uncomfortable surge of emotions try to engulf him as a warm tingling sensation shot up his arm and to his chest. It was so strong it almost doubled him over with its intensity. The effect threw him mentally off balance and out of control of the situation, causing him to have a knee-jerk reaction.

He pulled back. Locked it all down. Reverting back to his old protective mechanisms, he crossed his arms and smirked at her.

…. _Pie. Warm and moist. I like your pie, Babe…_

He watched as she stiffened, then rolled over to glare at him in frustrated disappointment.

She gritted out "Stop it. Now."

Stephanie pulled herself up to a sitting position with her back against the headboard of the bed and tucked her good leg up under her healing one, making sure not to dislodge her towel. Not breaking eye contact with Ranger, she grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest like protective armor. They continued to stare at each other in silence.

Steph pointed at the bedside chair across the room from her with a hand flourish, while nodding toward it to indicate to Ranger he should take a seat. She watched as he deliberately made his way to the chair and eased down into it, keeping his arms crossed over his chest.

The silent standoff continued.

Stephanie's eyes softened when she caught a fleeting glimpse of the emotional turmoil plaguing Ranger. Feeling the internal tug of war that was going on in his head, her heart gentled and she mentally reached out to soothe him.

"I'm on to you, Mister. Save that worn out song and dance routine for someone else." She relented and gave Ranger a half smile.

Still feeling unsettled, Ranger dropped his head to rest on the back of the chair and stared at the ceiling, rubbing his hands up and down the arm rests. The tension within him began to slowly subside as he felt a soft fluttering sensation gently rubbing at his temples.

He cleared his throat nervously. "I could feel you out there. I …. I think I feel you now."

He closed his eyes and continued softly. "I was there. In your head. I thought you wanted Morelli even after he treated you like shit but I saw –"

"Everything?"

He nodded.

"I know. You saw into me; just like I saw into you. I told you, I know everything." Steph paused for emphasis. "Everything, Ranger. Not just what you think I should know." She gave a little huff and mumbled "I feel like a broken record here."

Ranger's silence began to make her uncomfortable. Steph quietly eased up off the bed and sat on the end closest to him. Feeling her nearness, Ranger raised his head and stared at her intently causing Steph to fidget with the edge of the bath towel still tightly wrapped around her.

"Everything?"

His voice was so quiet, Stephanie almost missed the words. It was her turn to nod at him.

"I felt what you feel. I also can feel you fighting against what you feel for me, Ranger. I don't get it."

With nothing left to lose, she forged ahead. "I am so in love with you – only you - you know that now. You felt it."

Sadness invaded her voice as she broke eye contact and stared at her hands. "But, you've given me absolutely no reason to believe that I should. Even now when I can feel you fighting yourself."

Ranger stood up and limped over to the window. He put his hands on both sides of the window frame and stared out at nothing in particular. Pausing a few beats, he turned his head toward her. The raw anguish that emanated from his face filled the room.

"I don't have a choice, Steph. I have to do this. Don't you get it? I have to live my life without you in order to protect you. In order to protect me. I, uh…" Ranger thunked his forehead on the window in frustration. "Fuuuuck…I'm not good with this expressing your feelings crap. This is why it won't work!"

Stephanie's mind was flooded with mental flashes from Ranger. She saw what he thought were his darkest moments that haunted him. She saw how he saw himself – unworthy of love and happiness because of his past. She saw his deepest fears that involved losing her to past enemies and losing control over protecting himself from heartbreak. She felt the anguish and abject sorrow that flooded him because he believed he couldn't act on his strongest desire to love her back.

A part of her wanted to tuck tail and slink out the door, running far away from this stubborn man. The part of her that was just as stubborn (if not more so) squared her shoulders and dug in deeper where under all of the despair that ate at him was the bright light of the purest love just waiting to break through the comfortable blackness he chose to cloak himself in. Stephanie went to him and wrapped her arms around Ranger, leaning her head against his back. She focused everything she had and flooded him with love. Squeezing him with her arms, she kissed the spot between his shoulder blades.

… _Technically, we don't need words any more_ ….

They both felt the zing of electricity that raced through them as they touched. Steph gave a little yelp of surprise while Ranger twisted around to see what happened. His arms caught her to keep her from falling as she stumbled backward, but he couldn't bring himself to let her go. His infamous control was nowhere to be found when it came to her and he found himself pulling her closer until they touched from chest to hip.

Stephanie reached up and gently cradled Ranger's cheek and reveled at the warm tingles that radiated from her fingers to her heart. She gazed into his warm chocolate eyes, willing him to let her in on his own accord, then licked her lips.

"You say you have to do this, have to live your life this way?" She gently stroked his cheek with the pads of her fingers, sending tingles of warmth across the side of his face. "That's no life, Ranger. That's not living."

Ranger put his forehead against hers and started whispering.

"Babe…. Steph. What you deserve is a fairy tale, but I'm a nightmare."

She pulled her head back, staring straight into his eyes with enough determination for the both of them, then slowly started shaking her head.

"Nope. I'm not buying that line. You're forgetting I can see not just what's on the surface but what's buried deep inside too – the real you that's locked away. You think you're the only one with things in their past? We all carry around personal baggage. The trick is finding someone that helps you carry it and lightens the load." She leaned in closer and gave Ranger a conspiratory wink. "You are a good man, Ranger, with a good soul. I saw your light in there. It just needs some help getting out. I saw that you were never afraid to die during any of your missions. Now it's time to quit being afraid to live."

Steph reached both arms up around Ranger's neck and cradled the back of his head, then pulled so that they were nose to nose. "When I'm with you, whatever we're doing, wherever we are…...whatever this is…I _know_ it's right, Ranger. It feels right." She gave a tiny kiss that zapped his chin. "We feel right." She placed another that tingled the right side of his mouth. "You feel it, I know it." She kissed the left side leaving warm tingles there, then stared into his eyes, projecting her thoughts laced with pure love.

… _It's time to quit fighting against this. Meet me half way here…. Be brave…..._

She felt him mentally reach out to her. He felt her mentally mesh herself with him. The darkness that ate at him began to shatter and flake away. It was at that point that Ranger knew they crossed an imaginary line in the sand, one there was no turning back from.

Ranger closed the distance between them, and kissed her. He poured all his desire and pent up feelings into it. Snaking his hand under the edge of Steph's towel, he gently caressed her sides and made circles on the small of her back. He knew it was cliché, but he swore he could feel arcs of electricity jump between them as they kissed.

Breaking for air, he was more than a little amused that he was breathing as hard as Steph. Pulling her tighter in his arms, he began walking them back toward the bed, until the back of Stephanie's legs hit against its side. He bent down and began placing small feathery kisses along her collarbone.

"I think" _kiss_ "we" _kiss_ "have way" _kiss_ "too many" _kiss_ "clothes on" _kiss_ "to finish" _kiss_ "this discussion" _kiss_ "Babe".

Steph gave a small whimper of agreement as she tilted her head to the side, encouraging him to keep kissing her. Closing her eyes to savor the warm tingly sensations Ranger was sending all over her, she barely noticed the absence of her towel as he pulled it away and dropped it on the floor to accompany his gym clothes.

Sliding his arms to cradle her back and legs, Ranger gently scooped Steph up and laid her down in the center of her bed. He followed her down then rolled her underneath him while he supported his weight on his elbows. He placed his hands gently on each side if her face and stared intently into her eyes.

"Once we do this, you're mine Steph. It's all or nothing – there's no going back." He paused and kissed her gently. "I'm not gonna sugar coat this, Babe. It's not going to be easy." He looked into her eyes again for reassurance.

She lifted her head and kissed him back. "Nothing worth it is ever easy and I'm up for the challenge. And it goes both ways here – we do this and you are mine and only mine. You do not want to deal with a pissed off Italian-Hungarian Jersey girl." She gave him a mock glare and a playful smack on his shoulder. He responded by kissing her, then trailing kisses slowly down her neck once again.

Their bodies came together, cementing the mental connection that lay between them. As their chests touched, both felt the warm tingly sensations concentrate along their scar lines and pulsate over the scars above their hearts. His pleasure was hers and her pleasure was his. Each reveled in what the other felt, which further heightened their own sensations and emotions.

In the darkening room, Ranger laced his fingers together with Stephanie's as he pushed them both closer to ecstasy. He lowered his head onto her shoulder, as she strained against him.

 _…...I love you Stephanie. Love you so much. Need you like air…..._

 _…. Love you, Ranger …...Love you ...All of you…_

That was enough to send them both tumbling into bliss. As pleasure swamped both of them, the air became charged with white hot electricity that lit up the darkening room, snapping and crackling with small explosions that gradually dissipated as they came down from their shared orgasms.

Rolling to his side, Ranger gently cradled Stephanie into his, with her head resting in the crook of his shoulder. They lay still for few minutes, both trying to catch their breath and process what just happened.

Steph tilted her head up to look at Ranger. "What _was_ that? The room was glowing…."

Ranger kissed her on her forehead and smiled down at her. "Fireworks, babe. We made fireworks. You might have gotten a part of your magical fairy tale after all."

Steph snuggled deeper into his arms. "Love is the closest thing we have to magic, you know. That made it pure magic." She chuckled to herself and buried her head into his chest.

"I always thought you were magic Ranger, after our first time together. Now I know it's not my imagination."

Ranger traced small circles on Steph's shoulder and let his mind process it all. The ramifications were both exhilarating and nerve wracking. He turned to face her, keeping his arms loosely around her.

" No, not your imagination." He paused for a beat. "No secrets separate us now, Babe."

She smiled at him. "No, they don't. I'm an open book to you."

He closed his eyes and rubbed his nose against hers. "Just like I'm an open book to you. You now are privy to some things that place you in a lot of danger if anyone finds out we have this connection. We might be in big trouble here, Babe."

Propping herself up on her arm, Steph looked down at Ranger. "Well if we are, at least I'll be in trouble with you. But you're right. This needs to stay quiet." She smiled. "Together we can handle anything. You know, like we're stronger together. It's a shame it took getting struck by lightning and almost dying to figure it out."

She looked down at where their chests touched and gave a little gasp. "Look. If this isn't a sign –"

They both stared at the scars from the lightning strike that snaked across their chests. Traveling up each arm the Lichtenburg scars traveled in a mirror-like pattern up their entwined arms, ending at a swirling comma shape that covered the areas over their chest. With their intimate positioning bringing their chests together, the comma shaped scars made a circle when they touched.

The significance was not lost on either of them. Ranger pulled her tight against him, and kissed her above her ear as he felt everything click into place between them.

"Two halves of a whole, Babe. Two halves of a whole."

xxxxxxxxx

AN: Thank you so much for reading! I couldn't have done it without the wonderful feedback from everyone. I'm going to take a break and recharge but I foresee potential stories building from this one.


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